Thursday, December 20, 2012

Amen

Since the first day, Larger Child and I have made it a point to pray in the car on the way to school.  We take turns.  He prays Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and I pray Tuesdays and Thursdays.  We will pray for gratitude (a word I had to explain the meaning of to LC.  He now knows it as "thankfulness and appreciation for what we have"), strength to do God's Will (or in terms he can understand the strength to do what we know is the right thing to do), and we will pray for our friends and family that they receive comfort and love.  We will also use that time to pray for something more specific as well, if we have something laying on our hearts, like nervousness about a test, or extra guidance to stay quiet in class. It has been a really awesome ritual that I plan on keeping up through the rest of his scholastic career, in hopes that it will translate to daily prayer in his adult life.

A few days ago, however, after he was done praying, Larger Child said to me, "Mom, this makes me feel like a bad person for not knowing, but what does 'Amen' mean?"  My first reaction was to explain to him that he is and never will be a bad person for not knowing something.  Lack of knowledge is never bad, it is when we chose not to ask, or ignore the desire to seek that we are making a less than great decision.  I said you should never feel bad for not knowing. 

I find it interesting that his first feeling was one of guilt or feeling less-than for not knowing what a word with religious connotations means.  It is like there is a part of all of us that without being taught so, feels like we don't quite measure up to receive God's Grace and Unconditional Love.  Like we are somehow lacking... Of course, it is my belief that this is just not so.  God loves us and accepts us just as we are, warts and all... who am I to feel less than anything if God deems me important and perfect enough for HIM to love?  Perhaps that is naïve thinking, but there it is.

So, once I got my head around the WAY he asked, and made sure he knew he was in no way "bad" for not knowing, I was left with answering the question he asked... "What does 'Amen' mean?"  I thought for a minute, then thought for a minute more.  I said, "That is a really GREAT question... and you know what, I am not sure if I know the answer to that.  Why don't you let me do some thinking, asking and looking around, and I will let you know."  This was not the first time I have had to give him that answer, so he seemed okay and accepting of it.  We exchanged I love yous, and he got out of the car and walked in to school.

Once I got back home, I sent a message to my mother in law asking her that very question.  She has done lots of reading and studying about the meanings of biblical words and the differences in translations, so I knew she'd be a good resource to tap! While I waited for her reply, I checked out some answers on the internet...

I learned that the word 'Amen' is Hebrew, and it is one of the only words in the Bible that is not translated.  It is a universal word and recognized in most languages. Through all of that, reading, asking, cross-referencing,  I found the most basic definition repeated over and over.  A definition of the word I had never known before, and it seemed like, for once, most scholars could agree on it... The definition I found for the word 'Amen' was "this is truth."

When we lift our hearts to God in prayer, when we ask Him for guidance, a desire to do His will, for support, or love to go to others, for whatever we may be praying on or for or to, and we end that prayer with the word, 'Amen,' we are saying a vow to God that everything we have said and asked for speaks to our Truth. 

What a beautiful notion. What an incredible word!

The impact that definition had on me was immense.  I thought about all of the prayers I have sent up, all of the times I have heard or said that word, and now understanding its real meaning, how those prayers are somehow altered... more meaningful... I was touched by the knowledge, and couldn't wait to give it to Larger Child!

After school, armed with this knew knowledge and super excited to share it with LC, I blurted out the definition the moment he got in the car.  He looked at me puzzled, and sat there for a minute, and said, "Oh yeaaaah, I forgot I asked you that. Thanks Mom.... 'This is the truth,' huh? Okay.  Can I have a snack when we get home?" I smiled, and said, "Sure honey. How was your day?"

Sometimes, well more often than not, our children teach us much much more than we teach them. They become the catalyst to growth and change and challenges.  They are my guidepost, my training coach, my mirror.  They direct me to the things I should be seeking, they keep me on track and give me a purpose.  They are such a gift.... Amen.
  

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