Twenty Twelve: A Retrospective

With today being New Years Eve, the last day of 2012, I can't help but look back on this year with gratitude and smiles.  It has been a wonderful one... dare I say, one of the BEST for The McQueens.

January brought on a six month old baby who was starting to talk. He recognized his Dada and Bubba, and called them by name.  It also was the month we were reminded of the joys of teething, as SC cut his first toofer.  January was a mild winter, so one uncharacteristically warm January day brought about the Inaugural Skip School for the Zoo day... something we decided we needed to repeat EVERY year.

February meant BBH had to go away on a business trip, and I had to find out what it was like to be a single parent. Let me tell ya, it is no fun.  Kudos to you women who do it! Even though it was just for a few days, I missed him terribly, and was happy for his return.  February was also a difficult month for me because I spent a good majority of it sick and flaring from RA. I really had to learn how to pick my battles, take care of myself, and let the little things go.  It was quite a lesson, but I am stronger because of it.

March brought on the first tastes of spring, and with it a renewal of spirit and health.  March was also the month that I began this little blogging journey.  What fun it has been! It has been a great creative outlet, and a fantastic place to share and store memories of our little family as we walk this road together. March brought my parents for a fun visit to the OKC too! It was really nice being the host for once, taking them around town showing them the sights of the city.

In April, I learned that even though I had been with BBH for over 11 years, he will continue to amaze me. We had the blessing and privilege to cheer him across the finish line for his first marathon race.  It was such a life changing and life affirming experience for us... our little family grew a little bit tighter that day!

May held a few changes for us. Our Larger Child graduated kindergarten... thus marking the end of "Baby Jake" in my head. It also held the end of my twenties and ushered me in to a new decade, thus marking the end of an era for me as well... "Baby Jen"?? Naw, maybe just "Immature Jen."  Either way, I was happy to see it go! Ha! We celebrated in a very mature and grown up fashion... Roller Skating.

June held a fantastic Texas Trip! Summer weeks with my parents are just tradition anymore.  The boys and I always have a great time, thought I'm afraid we may run my parents ragged while we're there! I also think they might spoil us rotten! Ha!

June was also when I attempted to make a homemade Father's Day gift for BBH that included photos of the boys.  After about 100 shots, we managed to get a couple to work.  It truly gave me a whole new respect for professional photographers.  Especially those who shoot mostly children.

Larger Child began losing his baby teeth in June.  (tear) So, we got our first visit from the Toothfairy, and began the year of the snaggletooth.

July held two giant milestones for our family. Smaller Child took his first (real) steps, and we celebrated his ONE YEAR birthday.  His party was, well, not to sound arrogant... but pretty awesome. http://themoderndaysahm.blogspot.com/2012/07/little-man-birthday-party.html
I am of the opinion that the first birthday is the only one you get to do solely for you. It is the one year the kiddo is too young to have an opinion, and mom and dad get to celebrate the fact that they made it through that first year (mostly) intact!

August was HOT. It was another 100+ degree summer, and we were stuck inside for most of it. Even still, we managed to mark a few memories down.  August was the month that Larger Child finally honed his swimming skills! It was also the month that BBH decided to, as a favor to me, buzz cut our beautiful baby's hair off.  (Still not laughing at that one yet... okay, maybe I am a little.) 

 

 

(Side note, he dug out some clippings for me to put in the baby book... he knew once the dust settled, I would want some. Even though my ridiculous fit throwing protest said otherwise. I LOVE HIM.)

The end of August marked the beginning of our Larger Child's ALL DAY scholastic career.  He began first grade. He looks so grown up in these pictures.

September taught us that sometimes the Toothfairy gets sick... who knew! It also was The McQueen family's first (and hopefully last) kid trip to the ER.  We learned that we can entertain ourselves for hours with a latex glove, and we learned that SC is pretty hardcore.

In October, BBH and I celebrated eleven years of marriage.  October also proved once again that McQueens do Halloween right!

 

In November, with another mild winter, I implemented the "recess rule" requiring at least an hour of outside activity if the temperature is between 40-100 degrees.  We also somehow exposed the truth of the fact that we McQueens are in the beginning stages of becoming "preppers" to the rest of the world. And dammit if we are not proud of this fact.  You laugh now... YOU LAUGH NOW...

 

We got to celebrate Larger Child turning SEVEN years old in November as well!! We had a great party at the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History (The Dinosaur Museum).

Finally December... the holidays seem to bring out the best in us.  We get all warm and fuzzy. Baking, reading books together, watching Holiday movies, snuggling, and truly enjoying one another. I LOVE it.  This Christmas, we got a visitor for the first time, Frank the Elf, who made this month particularly fun! BBH turned 34 this year! We snuck in some family time, going out to eat, driving around looking at Christmas lights, and giving him a few gifts. We managed to survive the Mayan Apocalypse. Christmas was AWESOME as always. BBH ushered me in to the modern age with a new smart phone, and I gave him the gift of preparedness with all the contents for a well stocked bug-out bag.  Santa was particularly good to the kids, somehow sneaking a playground in to the backyard!

I also took the boys to their first concert.  We went to see a local children's band that they both just love named Spaghetti Eddie.  The LC knows the words to all of their songs, and SC is right behind him.  As a matter of fact, any time he hears music, he begins to dance and say "Meow" because of one of Spaghetti Eddie's songs called "Kitty Cat Town."

And that has been our year in a nutshell. We have been together through ALL of the ups and downs, and this year there have been much much more ups.  We have all grown in spirit, age, and love. We are one tight family unit. We have learned how to respond, not react, respect, listen with love.  We are growing in prayer. We are growing together.  It is a blessed BLESSED life. I can't wait to see what 2013 brings!

Amen

Since the first day, Larger Child and I have made it a point to pray in the car on the way to school.  We take turns.  He prays Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and I pray Tuesdays and Thursdays.  We will pray for gratitude (a word I had to explain the meaning of to LC.  He now knows it as "thankfulness and appreciation for what we have"), strength to do God's Will (or in terms he can understand the strength to do what we know is the right thing to do), and we will pray for our friends and family that they receive comfort and love.  We will also use that time to pray for something more specific as well, if we have something laying on our hearts, like nervousness about a test, or extra guidance to stay quiet in class. It has been a really awesome ritual that I plan on keeping up through the rest of his scholastic career, in hopes that it will translate to daily prayer in his adult life.

A few days ago, however, after he was done praying, Larger Child said to me, "Mom, this makes me feel like a bad person for not knowing, but what does 'Amen' mean?"  My first reaction was to explain to him that he is and never will be a bad person for not knowing something.  Lack of knowledge is never bad, it is when we chose not to ask, or ignore the desire to seek that we are making a less than great decision.  I said you should never feel bad for not knowing. 

I find it interesting that his first feeling was one of guilt or feeling less-than for not knowing what a word with religious connotations means.  It is like there is a part of all of us that without being taught so, feels like we don't quite measure up to receive God's Grace and Unconditional Love.  Like we are somehow lacking... Of course, it is my belief that this is just not so.  God loves us and accepts us just as we are, warts and all... who am I to feel less than anything if God deems me important and perfect enough for HIM to love?  Perhaps that is naïve thinking, but there it is.

So, once I got my head around the WAY he asked, and made sure he knew he was in no way "bad" for not knowing, I was left with answering the question he asked... "What does 'Amen' mean?"  I thought for a minute, then thought for a minute more.  I said, "That is a really GREAT question... and you know what, I am not sure if I know the answer to that.  Why don't you let me do some thinking, asking and looking around, and I will let you know."  This was not the first time I have had to give him that answer, so he seemed okay and accepting of it.  We exchanged I love yous, and he got out of the car and walked in to school.

Once I got back home, I sent a message to my mother in law asking her that very question.  She has done lots of reading and studying about the meanings of biblical words and the differences in translations, so I knew she'd be a good resource to tap! While I waited for her reply, I checked out some answers on the internet...

I learned that the word 'Amen' is Hebrew, and it is one of the only words in the Bible that is not translated.  It is a universal word and recognized in most languages. Through all of that, reading, asking, cross-referencing,  I found the most basic definition repeated over and over.  A definition of the word I had never known before, and it seemed like, for once, most scholars could agree on it... The definition I found for the word 'Amen' was "this is truth."

When we lift our hearts to God in prayer, when we ask Him for guidance, a desire to do His will, for support, or love to go to others, for whatever we may be praying on or for or to, and we end that prayer with the word, 'Amen,' we are saying a vow to God that everything we have said and asked for speaks to our Truth. 

What a beautiful notion. What an incredible word!

The impact that definition had on me was immense.  I thought about all of the prayers I have sent up, all of the times I have heard or said that word, and now understanding its real meaning, how those prayers are somehow altered... more meaningful... I was touched by the knowledge, and couldn't wait to give it to Larger Child!

After school, armed with this knew knowledge and super excited to share it with LC, I blurted out the definition the moment he got in the car.  He looked at me puzzled, and sat there for a minute, and said, "Oh yeaaaah, I forgot I asked you that. Thanks Mom.... 'This is the truth,' huh? Okay.  Can I have a snack when we get home?" I smiled, and said, "Sure honey. How was your day?"

Sometimes, well more often than not, our children teach us much much more than we teach them. They become the catalyst to growth and change and challenges.  They are my guidepost, my training coach, my mirror.  They direct me to the things I should be seeking, they keep me on track and give me a purpose.  They are such a gift.... Amen.
  

Unplug... a Little?

I have had a Facebook account for several years now.  When I first set it up, it was the "alternative" to MySpace, which was sooooo yesterday.  All the "cool kids" were on Facebook. It was a way to connect to friends, reconnect with old ones, make new ones. Share your lives with family who may not otherwise be privy to your day to days.  It was a place to share jokes, pictures, life and support one another.  At least that is what I remember.  Today, my news feed proved drastically otherwise.

Today, in one tiny stretch of a news feed, I saw graphic bloody pictures of abused animals, photos and discussion of infant children being put in situations that I can only describe as horrific, angry and hateful political speech, religious condemnation, and downright raciest behavior.  Needless to say, I was in the short, taken aback... more accurately downright disgusted.

I have resisted the urge several times to post political, religious, social, or otherwise.  I just don't feel that social media is the place for that.  I am pretty sure I am in the minority. I would get so frustrated when I saw friendships or family relationships crumble because of a political rant, or simply a "like" that the other may not.  I could not understand how some people could take something so (in my mind) trivial, and make it the catalyst for destruction of relationships.  I have also resisted the urge to BEG others to not use that internet site as a soapbox, because I saw what it had the power to do. Again, I believe I'm in the minority. 

I have to say, that I truly do understand how they might see it as valuable to share that kind of information, in the hopes of spreading awareness, or challenging someone else's thoughts... but it has been my limited experience that there are very very few things that you can change someone's mind on, and religious or political views are definitely not on that short list. I applaud them for having the desire and strength to fight for a cause.  I support their every right to do so, and do say feel think believe HOWEVER they wish.  I encourage the sharing of thoughts. I have always known that I have a choice in whether or not I participate in that exchange.  I feel grateful for having that awareness. 

But, today, I came to another awareness.  Not only do I have a choice to participate... I have a choice as to whether or not I allow my mind to be filled with that stuff.  I was spending a part of every morning reading those posts and feeling my heart break a little more, or getting so frustrated I had to turn it off to avoid comment.  BUT, I have a choice whether or not I even see the image of that dog, or the article about the dead babies.  I don't have to read your rant about your religious intolerance or your violent hatred for someone unlike yourself.  I can unplug. That is my choice.

I realize the irony of the fact that I am BLOGGING about unplugging.  I realize that while it is a really nice notion, I don't believe I have the commitment or the discipline to do so in entirety. But, I am sure as hell going to try to make a little change in my life. The moment I read a post about how irritating it is to see all the "pathetic" comments about people's kids, I realized, "This is not for me anymore. This does not speak to my truth, to my values, to who I am." When the posts about the joy and love in life are ridiculed and passed over to make room for one more rant about how your thinking is the only thinking, I have to step back and evaluate.

I chose to fill my mind with love and joy I know bad things happen. I know there is evil in the world. And trust me, if I don't see that from Facebook, I am sure to get it from somewhere else... I don't believe anyone has the ability to "bury there head in the sand" these days, not that this is my intention. I sure can limit my exposure though. I can focus on the good. I can go outside with my babies, enjoy the day and the world! And you know what, that's exactly what I'm gonna do! I challenge you to do the same.

Leaf Pile Jumpin' Done Right!

You all have seen the movies, commercials, cartoons, pictures, etc. of the kids running and jumping in to the giant pile of leaves full of giggles and jpy.  I bet most of you have even tried it on some level.  Aaaand, I bet it's safe to assume most of you hit the ground with a giant THUD and nearly broke your neck trying.  Larger Child has found a solution. 

What started off as a pain in the ass  tuckus chore of sweeping all of the fallen leaves off of the trampoline, has now turned in to the ONLY way (as far as I'm concerned) to do some leaf pile jumpin!

Awesome.