I would really like to find a way to express my emotions today... I am totally at a loss. I can say that it was the hardest thing in the world to drop my son off at school this morning. I wept in the car as I drove away, then I was filled with enormous amount of gratitude that I have a child to drop off.
Since yesterday afternoon, I have wanted nothing more than to hold my children. Just keep them next to me, arms wrapped tightly around them, not letting them go. I cannot help but think of the mothers who desperately want to do the same, and can't. Saying that my heart breaks for them is such an understatement.
It was all I could do to go to bed last night. I considered sleeping on the floor of my children's rooms. I considered piling them both in bed with us. It is such a frightening and helpless feeling. I don't want to let them out of my sight. I don't want a second to pass without my hand stroking their face, running my fingers through their hair, holding their hands... hearing me say I love them.
I wish I had a way to wrap this up in some beautiful life lesson. Some neat little bow of encouragement, strength, faith and beauty. But, I just can't. I am feeling overwhelmingly sad today.
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