Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Zombie Preparedness
This is what happens when I leave the house... This is what happens when I leave BBH in charge of winterizing the flower beds. A lesson in Zed Prep. You know, I gotta say though, it is comforting to see that this seven year old knows how to wield a machete. (GeeGee and Nana, you might want to skip this post....)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The Essence of BBH
It was around twelve thirty last night, when Smaller Child woke me up crying. I tried to get out of bed, but my knee had locked up. I couldn't move it. I nudged my Beautiful Bald Husband. He awoke, heard the baby cry... I said, "I can't stand up! My knee's locked up." without hesitation, without a moan, groan, or even a second thought, he sat up and said, "What can I do to help?"
If you wake me up in the middle of the night,I can barely form a sentence... And if I do it is usually along the lines of, "why the heck are you waking me up?!?" But with him, his first thought, it's of others, of me, of what he can do to help.
He's a rare bird, indeed.
If you wake me up in the middle of the night,I can barely form a sentence... And if I do it is usually along the lines of, "why the heck are you waking me up?!?" But with him, his first thought, it's of others, of me, of what he can do to help.
He's a rare bird, indeed.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Zoo Day
My favorite place in the whole wide world is our Zoo. It is spectacular. I have never once gone and regretted it. I bet a modest estimate of the number of times I have been there could be counted well over one hundred. It makes me innately happy. I am not sure if it is being outdoors, interacting with the animals, or what... but it just does a world of good for my spirit to be on the grounds.
I took Larger Child to the Zoo at least once a month from the time he was about one and a half until he started going to full time school. He loves it too. I love being there with him. I have been able to pass on my love of animals and interest in the different species that you get to come in contact with when you visit the Zoo. NOW, I am blessed with the opportunity to do it all over again with Smaller Child. This was a gift that hit me pretty heavy today as we went in the Zoo entrance. How very lucky I am to get to do this a second time. What a gift it is to see the delight and curiosity on a young child's face the first time they get to interact with animals they don't get to see everyday. To witness the laughter from a baby that comes from an unexpected caw of a bird, or the trumpet of an elephant repeated by their tiny hands... well it is just an experience that you do not want to miss... and I get to do it TWICE. (Seriously, I am tearing up again just thinking about how awesome that is.)
We have had a very warm November, and today it was GORGEOUS. Smaller Child and I were in great spirits, and the animals were too. The birds seemed to be the star of the show today. They were a delight! These two fellas entertained us with their laughing for a good fifteen minutes or so.
And the trees. OH MY GOSH... the colors today. They were incredible. I found myself looking up so much that my neck hurts. Some of them looked like they were on fire. When you place those types of colors against the clear blue sky we had today... well it was just breathtaking.
There were several surprises in the foliage too. Pops of color everywhere!
I think this was the first time Smaller Child was big enough to understand that the animals were alive... that he could interact with them, and found interest in these facts. He spent a great deal of time with the pigmy goats. He wanted to love on them all. He would great them with a hand wave and an Okie, "Haaaayyy!" Then he would pat them on the back, give them a hug and a kiss, and leave saying "Buh-Bye!" (Considering there are well over a dozen of these hooved lovelies, this took a minute or two.)
He also had a pretty great interaction with one of the Grizzly Bears who was playing in the water. He said "bear" and even growled!
I took him to the gorillas next. He didn't seem too terribly interested. It was almost as if he was just looking at a room full of people. Hairy SCs... Yes, I see the resemblance.
We took a break, and had lunch.
We were joined by a flock of black birds. This one had his eye on my Sammy.
Then SC got out of the stroller and stretched his legs a bit...
We saw cats (that apparently also say, "Meow"), elephants, monkeys, snakes, lizards, tortoises, flamingos, deer, elk, and so many others. The day was beautiful. Another one for the books.
Geez... I really do have a blessed life.
I took Larger Child to the Zoo at least once a month from the time he was about one and a half until he started going to full time school. He loves it too. I love being there with him. I have been able to pass on my love of animals and interest in the different species that you get to come in contact with when you visit the Zoo. NOW, I am blessed with the opportunity to do it all over again with Smaller Child. This was a gift that hit me pretty heavy today as we went in the Zoo entrance. How very lucky I am to get to do this a second time. What a gift it is to see the delight and curiosity on a young child's face the first time they get to interact with animals they don't get to see everyday. To witness the laughter from a baby that comes from an unexpected caw of a bird, or the trumpet of an elephant repeated by their tiny hands... well it is just an experience that you do not want to miss... and I get to do it TWICE. (Seriously, I am tearing up again just thinking about how awesome that is.)
We have had a very warm November, and today it was GORGEOUS. Smaller Child and I were in great spirits, and the animals were too. The birds seemed to be the star of the show today. They were a delight! These two fellas entertained us with their laughing for a good fifteen minutes or so.
And the trees. OH MY GOSH... the colors today. They were incredible. I found myself looking up so much that my neck hurts. Some of them looked like they were on fire. When you place those types of colors against the clear blue sky we had today... well it was just breathtaking.
There were several surprises in the foliage too. Pops of color everywhere!
I think this was the first time Smaller Child was big enough to understand that the animals were alive... that he could interact with them, and found interest in these facts. He spent a great deal of time with the pigmy goats. He wanted to love on them all. He would great them with a hand wave and an Okie, "Haaaayyy!" Then he would pat them on the back, give them a hug and a kiss, and leave saying "Buh-Bye!" (Considering there are well over a dozen of these hooved lovelies, this took a minute or two.)
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| "Hi Goat!" |
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| Kisses! |
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| "Buh-Bye!" |
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| Om, nom, nom... |
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| Um, can... can I have a bite? |
We took a break, and had lunch.
We were joined by a flock of black birds. This one had his eye on my Sammy.
 |
| Back off, Bucko! |
We saw cats (that apparently also say, "Meow"), elephants, monkeys, snakes, lizards, tortoises, flamingos, deer, elk, and so many others. The day was beautiful. Another one for the books.
Geez... I really do have a blessed life.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Bouncing Belly Laughs
An afternoon in the crisp fall air, sunshine, and bouncing belly laughs!! (Side note: No Children were harmed in the making of these videos... and LC is still getting over his strep, hence the nasty cough.)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
One HUNDRETH Post
To commemorate my 100th post, I will tell you 100 things about myself that you may or may not know, or care to know! Ready? Get set... GO!
1. My eyes are brown, but sometimes when I'm out in the sun a lot, they are a bit green.
2. I sometimes transpose my numbers, which can make banking fun!
3. I am legally blind in my left eye.
4. I dance hip hop in the shower.
5. I secretly love Flo Rider.
6. I am allergic to cigarette smoke.
7. I am thrilled I had boys because I was such a rotten teenage girl.
8. My favorite food is a warm soft chocolate chip cookie.
9. My favorite ice cream is Chocolate Almond.
10. My favorite season is fall.
11. But I hate the cold.
12. I lied on my weight on my driver's license...
13. But I'm lower than that weight I lied about now.
14. I caught head lice from my 3rd grade boyfriend.
15. I am still a little scared of animatronics.
16. I use to say my favorite movie was Schindler's List
17. My REAL favorite movie is Little Women.
18. I've read the Twilight Books 3 times.
19. I've read Night about 6.
20. I have never read the "real" Little Women book, but the children's version over and over...
21. My least favorite chore is ironing, so I never do it. Our dryer is our iron.
22. Another reason I'm glad I had boys, they aren't picky about what they wear.
23. I have pet and fed a giraffe.
24. I have been so scared of a llama I almost peed my pants.
25. I've peed my pants.
26. I think I can sing...
27. I can't sing anymore.
28. I was in the Model UN
29. I was also ranked 3rd in the state for Humorous Duet in Speech
30. I always wanted to audition for the school play
31. I never thought I'd be good enough
32. I felt the same about cheerleading.
33. I never thought I'd be a Stay at Home Mom
34. I secretly always hoped I would be
35. I am EXACTLY where I hoped I'd be by thirty
36. I cannot believe I have been with my husband for 12 and a half years.
37. I still find him incredibly attractive.
38. He's my best friend.
39. I still sleep with a teddy bear
40. My teddy bear is a boy named Rhapsody
41. I love bouncing on the trampoline
42. My knees hurt when I bounce.
43. I resent my knees... a lot of the time.
44. I always think about cutting all my hair off
45. When I cut it, I always regret it
46. I have considered auditioning for local theater.
47. I have pretty low self esteem...
48. I'm working on that esteem.
49. I didn't really believe in God until four years ago.
50. I don't ever doubt He exists now, I don't ever doubt His Grace and Love for me.
51. I sing to my dog... all the time...
52. Sometimes I wish I had a girl so I could play make up, dress up, and tea parties...
53. I've tried playing those things with my son.
54. I didn't tell his Dad.
55. He knows now...
56. I'm sorry about that, BBH...
57. Not really.
58. Okay, really.
59. I had to look up the words to "Take On Me" yesterday.
60. Sometimes I think Dinosaurs are a hoax
61. Sometimes I feel the same about the moon landing.
62. I think there is a large part of me that believes the Zombie Apocalypse might actually happen.
63. I secretly hope it does.
64. I am afraid of my RA.
65. I am afraid of my RA's progression.
66. I try hard to really enjoy my abilities... and life.
67. I LOVE CRAFTS.
68. I don't think I'm any good at them.
69. I was scared when I took my first positive pregnancy test.
70. Did I mention I have a low self esteem?
71. I don't "fit in" politically.... anywhere.
72. I kind of want to go to church.
73. I love the smell of lemon scented things...
74. Not a big fan of the smell of actual lemons.
75. I love real cherries
76. I hate cherry flavoring.
77. I had too much cherry cough syrup as a kid.
78. I think I take pretty good pictures.
79. I am cheap.
80. I hate buying big ticket items for myself.
81. I love having a cat sized dog.
82. I hated having cats.
83. I could never be vegetarian or vegan. I love cheese and bacon too much.
84. I actually considered stockpiling bacon when I heard about the potential shortage.
85. I run in to door frames on a daily basis.
86. I blame my lazy eye.
87. I won't ever move, if I can help it... I love my backyard too much.
88. I am still a little scared of turkeys.
89. It is a little hard being this open.
90. I would much rather be writing 100 things about my kids.
91. One of my pet peeves is toilet paper hung backwards.
92. I curse too much.
93. I could still watch Friends reruns.
94. Phoebe was my favorite.
95. I am Monica.
96. I think I'm pretty funny.
97. I have a high pain tolerance.
98. I cannot believe all of the gifts I have been blessed with, I sometimes feel undeserving.
99. I am learning about myself, and beginning to like what I see.
100. I can honestly say, I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole life.
1. My eyes are brown, but sometimes when I'm out in the sun a lot, they are a bit green.
2. I sometimes transpose my numbers, which can make banking fun!
3. I am legally blind in my left eye.
4. I dance hip hop in the shower.
5. I secretly love Flo Rider.
6. I am allergic to cigarette smoke.
7. I am thrilled I had boys because I was such a rotten teenage girl.
8. My favorite food is a warm soft chocolate chip cookie.
9. My favorite ice cream is Chocolate Almond.
10. My favorite season is fall.
11. But I hate the cold.
12. I lied on my weight on my driver's license...
13. But I'm lower than that weight I lied about now.
14. I caught head lice from my 3rd grade boyfriend.
15. I am still a little scared of animatronics.
16. I use to say my favorite movie was Schindler's List
17. My REAL favorite movie is Little Women.
18. I've read the Twilight Books 3 times.
19. I've read Night about 6.
20. I have never read the "real" Little Women book, but the children's version over and over...
21. My least favorite chore is ironing, so I never do it. Our dryer is our iron.
22. Another reason I'm glad I had boys, they aren't picky about what they wear.
23. I have pet and fed a giraffe.
24. I have been so scared of a llama I almost peed my pants.
25. I've peed my pants.
26. I think I can sing...
27. I can't sing anymore.
28. I was in the Model UN
29. I was also ranked 3rd in the state for Humorous Duet in Speech
30. I always wanted to audition for the school play
31. I never thought I'd be good enough
32. I felt the same about cheerleading.
33. I never thought I'd be a Stay at Home Mom
34. I secretly always hoped I would be
35. I am EXACTLY where I hoped I'd be by thirty
36. I cannot believe I have been with my husband for 12 and a half years.
37. I still find him incredibly attractive.
38. He's my best friend.
39. I still sleep with a teddy bear
40. My teddy bear is a boy named Rhapsody
41. I love bouncing on the trampoline
42. My knees hurt when I bounce.
43. I resent my knees... a lot of the time.
44. I always think about cutting all my hair off
45. When I cut it, I always regret it
46. I have considered auditioning for local theater.
47. I have pretty low self esteem...
48. I'm working on that esteem.
49. I didn't really believe in God until four years ago.
50. I don't ever doubt He exists now, I don't ever doubt His Grace and Love for me.
51. I sing to my dog... all the time...
52. Sometimes I wish I had a girl so I could play make up, dress up, and tea parties...
53. I've tried playing those things with my son.
54. I didn't tell his Dad.
55. He knows now...
56. I'm sorry about that, BBH...
57. Not really.
58. Okay, really.
59. I had to look up the words to "Take On Me" yesterday.
60. Sometimes I think Dinosaurs are a hoax
61. Sometimes I feel the same about the moon landing.
62. I think there is a large part of me that believes the Zombie Apocalypse might actually happen.
63. I secretly hope it does.
64. I am afraid of my RA.
65. I am afraid of my RA's progression.
66. I try hard to really enjoy my abilities... and life.
67. I LOVE CRAFTS.
68. I don't think I'm any good at them.
69. I was scared when I took my first positive pregnancy test.
70. Did I mention I have a low self esteem?
71. I don't "fit in" politically.... anywhere.
72. I kind of want to go to church.
73. I love the smell of lemon scented things...
74. Not a big fan of the smell of actual lemons.
75. I love real cherries
76. I hate cherry flavoring.
77. I had too much cherry cough syrup as a kid.
78. I think I take pretty good pictures.
79. I am cheap.
80. I hate buying big ticket items for myself.
81. I love having a cat sized dog.
82. I hated having cats.
83. I could never be vegetarian or vegan. I love cheese and bacon too much.
84. I actually considered stockpiling bacon when I heard about the potential shortage.
85. I run in to door frames on a daily basis.
86. I blame my lazy eye.
87. I won't ever move, if I can help it... I love my backyard too much.
88. I am still a little scared of turkeys.
89. It is a little hard being this open.
90. I would much rather be writing 100 things about my kids.
91. One of my pet peeves is toilet paper hung backwards.
92. I curse too much.
93. I could still watch Friends reruns.
94. Phoebe was my favorite.
95. I am Monica.
96. I think I'm pretty funny.
97. I have a high pain tolerance.
98. I cannot believe all of the gifts I have been blessed with, I sometimes feel undeserving.
99. I am learning about myself, and beginning to like what I see.
100. I can honestly say, I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole life.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Autumn Afternoon (Recess Time!)
I made the decision a while back to incorporate at least an hour, of every day, to spending outside with Smaller Child. We call it "recess." I try to make this happen no matter how busy we are, or what is going on in our day. The only requirement is that the temperature must be above 45 and below 110. TODAY definitely fit in that spectrum, and BONUS, Larger Child was still contagious from his bout of strep, so he was home "sick" from school. (Although he FELT great!) Sooo, he got to join in the fun of recess today.
 |
| Me and My Pile of Boys! (Sometimes they just BARELY tolerate me...) |
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AAARRRGGG!! MONSTER SHADOOOWS!! |
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| Larger Child-n-Mama |
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| Gorgeous Colors |
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| Smaller Child and Mama |
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| Olivia the Weirdo Looking Regal... or something... |
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I call these, "SON Bursts" and "Zombaby" |
Truly a lovely afternoon. Thanks Boys. (And Fuzzy Faced Girl)
Love,
Mom
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Evil Laugh
Smaller Child is working on his "I Will DESTROY THE UNIVERSE!!!!" laugh.... You all have been warned.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Party of Triassic Proportions
This past Saturday we had Larger Child's SEVENTH birthday party. I cannot even begin to explain how strange it sounds to say I am the mom of a seven year old. It is bizarre... I am pretty sure it is a mistake, since it feels like I was dropping him off for his first day of Mother's Day Out just yesterday. SEVEN?!?! I mean, that's like an adolescent. No longer a little one, "not even a smidge" as he use to say.
Despite the fact that I can't seem to wrap my mind around his rapid growth... he still grows. It appears as though time doesn't stop just because you can't comprehend its speed. Birthdays still come, candles still increase in number, I still plan parties, and this weekend was no different.
After Smaller Child's EPIC (homemade and HIGHLY labor intensive... albeit super awesome and fun) Little Man One Year party (http://themoderndaysahm.blogspot.com/2012/07/little-man-birthday-party.html), I was absolutely ELATED to find out that one of LC and my favorite places hosts birthday parties. Once I looked in to it, I realized the party was ALL INCLUSIVE. From invitations to decorations and everything in between, they take care of it. I was just responsible for bringing the Birthday Boy. Where do I send the check?? The best part, he was so excited to have an "event" birthday! Super bonus! Soooo, this Seven Year Old had his Big Day at the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History (or as we call it, the Dinosaur Museum).
We sent invites to all of his classmates, and to our close family. Considering the party was about 45 minutes away, and the same time and location as the college football game, we had a decent turnout. A couple of his classmates came, his cousin, and our family. Manageable.
We got there a little early, and were able to explore the Museum for a bit... and have some quality time with the Birthday Boy before the party started.
The party started with special "reserved" time in the Discovery Room. It is a room designed to give the kids real hands on experience with fossils, bones, artifacts, and wildlife. The kids got to dig for dinosaurs, look and touch some great taxidermy critters, and see some awesome living ones too. The excitement and fun wasn't contained strictly to the kids though... the adults got in on it as well!
Then we met up in the café for cake, ice cream, and presents. They had a table set up and decorated with place settings that included great party favors for the kids (and maybe for a few adults as well). The cake was darling and delicious! The Birthday Boy seemed to really enjoy it all!
And the PRESENTS!! LC seemed to get exactly what he wanted... Legos, Legos, and More Legos! AAAAaand the video game he's been after for at least a year now. Needless to say, the expression captures it all. He was thrilled!
Thank you to everyone who came! Larger Child is truly blessed to have such a large group of people who love him so much. From the moment he was born, you all covered him in your support and adoration, and he will forever be blessed because of it. I will too.
And a BIG OL HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Tremendously AWESOME, Witty, Precocious, Handsome SEVEN YEAR OLD!!! I am so glad you enjoyed your "Best EVER" Dino party, and I am equally glad I got to enjoy it with you!!! I love you Sugar Bee!
Despite the fact that I can't seem to wrap my mind around his rapid growth... he still grows. It appears as though time doesn't stop just because you can't comprehend its speed. Birthdays still come, candles still increase in number, I still plan parties, and this weekend was no different.
After Smaller Child's EPIC (homemade and HIGHLY labor intensive... albeit super awesome and fun) Little Man One Year party (http://themoderndaysahm.blogspot.com/2012/07/little-man-birthday-party.html), I was absolutely ELATED to find out that one of LC and my favorite places hosts birthday parties. Once I looked in to it, I realized the party was ALL INCLUSIVE. From invitations to decorations and everything in between, they take care of it. I was just responsible for bringing the Birthday Boy. Where do I send the check?? The best part, he was so excited to have an "event" birthday! Super bonus! Soooo, this Seven Year Old had his Big Day at the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History (or as we call it, the Dinosaur Museum).
We sent invites to all of his classmates, and to our close family. Considering the party was about 45 minutes away, and the same time and location as the college football game, we had a decent turnout. A couple of his classmates came, his cousin, and our family. Manageable.
We got there a little early, and were able to explore the Museum for a bit... and have some quality time with the Birthday Boy before the party started.
The party started with special "reserved" time in the Discovery Room. It is a room designed to give the kids real hands on experience with fossils, bones, artifacts, and wildlife. The kids got to dig for dinosaurs, look and touch some great taxidermy critters, and see some awesome living ones too. The excitement and fun wasn't contained strictly to the kids though... the adults got in on it as well!
Then we set off for our guided tour of the Hall of Ancient Life (the dinosaurs). Our tour guide was great with the kids, and really knew how to keep them engaged. She could sense when they were particularly interested in something and spent more time there, and also knew when to move along. 
Then we met up in the café for cake, ice cream, and presents. They had a table set up and decorated with place settings that included great party favors for the kids (and maybe for a few adults as well). The cake was darling and delicious! The Birthday Boy seemed to really enjoy it all!
 |
| Mom and Dad rocking our Dino Hats |
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| LC's Dino Hat often looked like a Dino Mask. |
 |
| Because the museum housed such precious artifacts, we were unable to have candles, but we still sang Happy BDay to him. |
 |
| The BDay table |
And the PRESENTS!! LC seemed to get exactly what he wanted... Legos, Legos, and More Legos! AAAAaand the video game he's been after for at least a year now. Needless to say, the expression captures it all. He was thrilled!
Thank you to everyone who came! Larger Child is truly blessed to have such a large group of people who love him so much. From the moment he was born, you all covered him in your support and adoration, and he will forever be blessed because of it. I will too.
And a BIG OL HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Tremendously AWESOME, Witty, Precocious, Handsome SEVEN YEAR OLD!!! I am so glad you enjoyed your "Best EVER" Dino party, and I am equally glad I got to enjoy it with you!!! I love you Sugar Bee!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
My Hands
As I was in the kitchen today, cursing at my hands for dropping yet another cup, yet another time, I looked down at the lumps of bone, muscle and skin that were causing me so much trouble. With this disease I have had a slow digression of grip, and functionality. Slow. Unnoticeable from day to day, but in retrospect, crystal clear. The best way I can describe it is an overall weakness and lack of connection between what your brain is telling them to do and what they are actually doing. It is like how your hands feel after being in the cold too long, just sort of numb and useless, like you're still wearing your mittens. So, it is no wonder my poor hands get the brunt of my aggravation. But, as I was standing there in the kitchen, about to kick the damn dishwasher and scream, I looked down at my hands and something shifted.
It was a shift in perspective. I have so many times wished I could just cut the damn things off, trade out the defective for bionic hands, hand transplant, whatever... but today, I was looking at them and began to think of how grateful I am for them. All of the things they have allowed me to do.
I have always had a strange fascination with hands. They are often the first thing I look at in a person. I find myself staring at people's hands all the time, watching how they function, what they look like, how they use them. If I were a gifted sketch artist, I could draw a perfect replica of my mother's hands for how many times I have stared at them over the years, my father's too. My husband's hands are perfect in my memory, and I bet if I have spent any good amount of time with you, I could pick your hands out of a line up as well. I am not sure why I have always focused on them, perhaps it was God's way of telling me to not take them for granted, knowing the path that was laid out before me well before I did.
My hands. No matter how gnarled, or swollen, crooked, red, stiff, dry, cracked, or sore they are, they are still mine. The changes in them reflect the changes in me. Their age, my age. Every crooked knuckle represents a mountain that I had to climb, every wrinkle, a weight that has been carried. These hands, despite their challenges, have allowed me so many blessings.
These are the hands that have wiped away tears, held bottles, cooked dinner, written love notes. They are the hands that have held books that have changed my world and the way I view it, they have been the instrument to my creativity, the tools to my crafts, and the way I survive.
These are the hands that clasp in prayer. These are the hands that are teaching my children to do the same. These are the hands that held my mother's as I learned to walk. They are the same hands that grasped my father's arm as he walked me down the wedding isle. They have held the hands of my grandparents in the days before they have passed. They are the hands that have caressed and have been kissed by my husband, and have held the sweet pink newness of my children the moment they entered into this world.
They have been covered in mud, glue, paint, sweat, and blood. They have planted, sewn, cooked, cleaned, rocked, held, wiped, spanked, slapped, pinched, clapped, waved. They have been used for anger, fear and for revenge, but also for compassion, for tenderness, and for love. They have explored the world around me, kept me safe from danger, and allowed me to experience they joy in feeling and touch.
These hands are me. Not broken. Not limited. They have had to find new ways of doing things, just as I have, and like me, they have had to retrain their methods. They have taught me patience and acceptance. They have taught me how not to let go. They have never failed me when it mattered.
Today, my perspective shifted. My hands are not defective... They are beautiful because they carry my life with them, all that I am, all that I was, and all that I will be are in those hands.
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It was a shift in perspective. I have so many times wished I could just cut the damn things off, trade out the defective for bionic hands, hand transplant, whatever... but today, I was looking at them and began to think of how grateful I am for them. All of the things they have allowed me to do.
I have always had a strange fascination with hands. They are often the first thing I look at in a person. I find myself staring at people's hands all the time, watching how they function, what they look like, how they use them. If I were a gifted sketch artist, I could draw a perfect replica of my mother's hands for how many times I have stared at them over the years, my father's too. My husband's hands are perfect in my memory, and I bet if I have spent any good amount of time with you, I could pick your hands out of a line up as well. I am not sure why I have always focused on them, perhaps it was God's way of telling me to not take them for granted, knowing the path that was laid out before me well before I did.
My hands. No matter how gnarled, or swollen, crooked, red, stiff, dry, cracked, or sore they are, they are still mine. The changes in them reflect the changes in me. Their age, my age. Every crooked knuckle represents a mountain that I had to climb, every wrinkle, a weight that has been carried. These hands, despite their challenges, have allowed me so many blessings.
These are the hands that have wiped away tears, held bottles, cooked dinner, written love notes. They are the hands that have held books that have changed my world and the way I view it, they have been the instrument to my creativity, the tools to my crafts, and the way I survive.
These are the hands that clasp in prayer. These are the hands that are teaching my children to do the same. These are the hands that held my mother's as I learned to walk. They are the same hands that grasped my father's arm as he walked me down the wedding isle. They have held the hands of my grandparents in the days before they have passed. They are the hands that have caressed and have been kissed by my husband, and have held the sweet pink newness of my children the moment they entered into this world.
They have been covered in mud, glue, paint, sweat, and blood. They have planted, sewn, cooked, cleaned, rocked, held, wiped, spanked, slapped, pinched, clapped, waved. They have been used for anger, fear and for revenge, but also for compassion, for tenderness, and for love. They have explored the world around me, kept me safe from danger, and allowed me to experience they joy in feeling and touch.
These hands are me. Not broken. Not limited. They have had to find new ways of doing things, just as I have, and like me, they have had to retrain their methods. They have taught me patience and acceptance. They have taught me how not to let go. They have never failed me when it mattered.
Today, my perspective shifted. My hands are not defective... They are beautiful because they carry my life with them, all that I am, all that I was, and all that I will be are in those hands.
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Sunday, November 4, 2012
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