A Decade Plus

This Saturday marked the ELEVEN year anniversary of marriage between Beautiful Bald Husband and myself.  Eleven seems like such a big number! I asked BBH why it seemed so much longer than ten, and he said because it is like, "forever long."  He suggested we just start counting in "forevers" now.  This year we celebrated one "forever."  Next year, "two forevers."  You get the point.  I like it.

Eleven years does seem like a very long time, especially when it feels like we met just a little while ago.    On the other hand, when I consider all of the things that have happened, all of the things we have been through, accomplished, fought through, survived, flourished, and enjoyed, it doesn't seem nearly long enough.  

I met him when I was seventeen.  He was friends with my best friend's big brother.  I fell in love with him on the porch of their house.  Swooning over his mad hackey-sack skills, and lanky arms.  (The fact that he was a twenty-one year old "bad boy," whom I thought was so very worldly and experienced, didn't hurt at all!)

We dated for about two months before we were convinced we were going to be spending the rest of our lives together, and much to my parent's HORROR, I completely changed course, disobeyed their wishes utterly, and moved in with the older MAN who stole and corrupted their daughter.  

We played house in our first apartment rather well.  By that, I mean we had a steady diet of chee-toes, kool-aid, ramen, and if we managed to save enough money to spring on ground beef, hamburger helper.  We ate coco puffs until we nearly puked, and chain smoked.  We spent nearly every weekend knee deep in beer bottles and camel butts, and surrounded with friends who did the same.  It was a MIRACLE I made it through college without flunking out.  Somehow I managed to compartmentalize my rebellion and scrape A's in nearly every course.  

We were kids.  We were enjoying life, and each other... the best way we knew how.  We loved passionately and new.  Just as passionately as we loved one another, the same was felt when we fought.    But, we managed to make up, and love passionately again. Life continued this way for a couple years. 

Then, the world threw us a curveball. I started getting sick all the time.  I was spending at least once a week nearly bedridden, BBH would carry me to the bathtub some nights, because I couldn't make it there on my own.  The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, and I fought hard with him to leave.  I would scream at him that he deserved better! But, he stuck by me, refusing to go... no matter how hard I pushed.  When I got my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, I saw it as a death sentence, and a prison sentence for him.  He saw it as an answer, and a step in the direction of help and healing.  I  will never forget that, or ever be able to repay him for helping me turn the corner.  

I got on some treatments that helped put my life back together, and we got married.  

We moved in to our first house shortly after.  We had adopted two dogs and two cats at this point, and quickly filled up the rest of the space with two oscars, and two hermit crabs as well.  I was well on my way to graduation, and things were looking up.  We had friends over often, still making some questionable "adult" decisions, but enjoying life as best we could for being in our early twenties and in love.  

Then life came at us again.  We had been told many times by many people that if you marry young, you run the risk of growing apart as you grow up.  I think this was partly to blame.  We began to take each other for granted.  We began to be roommates with resentments instead of husband and wife... then the bottom dropped out.  A chasm in our world occurred.  WE made decisions that put our marriage, and our lives in jeopardy, and nearly lost it all.  And we lost sight of each other along the way.  

Then there was a choice to make.  Though, frankly, I am not sure if it was a choice at all.  Through the years, there had been so many arguments, fights, riffs, but they all got mended.  We were drawn to one another, no matter how hard we were pulled part, something kept us bound.  This time was no different.  Really, there was no choice to make.  It was meant to be.... he and I.  It was just a matter of how to put the pieces back together.  

But, with time, we did.  We learned how to love, to talk, to respect.  We learned how to share, to be vulnerable, to encourage, to support.  We learned how to put the other one first.  We learned what a MARRIAGE really is.  Not just the fantasy of a teenage girl, not the dramatic passionate huge highs and deep lows, but the everyday.  To this day, we have never forgotten those lessons.  I thank God for that. 

Then, our world changed once again. I was just about to finish college... a new chapter was already on the way, when we were blessed with the news that our little family was about to grow.  Larger Child entered our world. 

Everything we thought we knew about marriage was out the window.  A new role was given to us.  Not husband and wife, but Dad and Mom.  Though it was sometimes a tiny sliver of a tightrope, we somehow managed to balance both jobs, and our family was filled with warmth, love and support.  We placed the needs of that tiny pink thing that demanded so much of our attention and energy first, and if anything was left, we gave it to each other.  We made it work... better than I had ever imagined we would. 

And this was our life for the next five years.  We went on trips; camping, visits to family, California.  We bought a new house.  Our new house flooded, we lived in a hotel for two months, fixed the house and moved back in.  Larger Child started school. BBH changed jobs.  We put family first. Dinners around the table, holiday traditions, "flammy time," big birthday celebrations.  We lost a few of our furry family members along the way, and got a new one.  We made time for each other.  Even if it was just to sneak a kiss or two.  

Then life changed once again.  Smaller Child made his appearance. 

As our family grew, so did the love. It was like it was always meant to be just like this.  The four of us. Me and my boys.  It finally felt complete.  

And Saturday, as I thought back over the years... of us finding each other, falling in passionate love, sickness, marriage, learning what REAL love is, finding one another again, falling in love again, children, adulthood, family, finding God, getting to know Him, getting to know each other through Him... I realize it is not at all what I expected life to be like as the bright eyed 17 year old lusting after the 21 year old bad boy, it is SO MUCH MORE.  It is the life I never knew I wanted.  It is what, I believe, the purpose of all this is.  The purpose of life, as I see it, is to feel this kind of unquestionable, unshakable, ever-present love, and to GIVE that love in return.  It is family. It is heart. It is home. I found my home, my purpose in that hackey-sacking boy, and for ELEVEN years now, I have been given the opportunity to show him what that means to me, by offering the same in return.  

I love you Beautiful Bald Husband.  I love the family you have given me, the life that we share.  What a beautiful purpose. Thank you. Happy Anniversary.  I can't wait to see what the next "forevers" bring us!! 

A Toddler, a Camera, and a Fall Morning

Pic of the week?  How about a photo session? Smaller Child's and Mother Nature's charms took over this morning... and this is what came of it.

Enjoy...

                             

                             

               

Panic and Police Officers

I had 45 minutes before I needed to pick Larger Child up from school.  I decided to push it, and run to the local box store to pick up a few groceries for dinner (I had a craving for bruschetta).  Smaller Child and I found a good parking spot, ran in, and grabbed what we needed (and a few things we didn't... because that's how those places work).  SC had taken a late nap that day, so while we were shopping he was eating a late lunch PBJ.  All in all, we were both thoroughly enjoying our hassle free, albeit a bit rushed, shopping experience.  We went to the check out line, had a very pleasant exchange with the cashier, which is usually the case when shopping with SC... he can be quite the ladies man.  Then with 15 minutes to spare, we headed out to the car.  I loaded up the bags, and took the shopping cart back.  I carried SC to the car, placed him in the car seat, set down my keys and buckled him in.  I gave him the ritual kiss on the forehead, and shut the door.

I realized I did not have my key in my hand, to start the car, and when I went to open SC's door to pick it up, it was locked.

I locked my keys, and my baby, in the car.

(Let me give you a moment to audibly gasp the way I did before the blind panic set in.)


(gasp)



LUCKILY, I still had my purse on my arm, and my phone in my purse.  So, never leaving SC's view, the first thing I did was call Beautiful Bald Husband.  This is my knee jerk reaction anytime there is an emergency.  The very first thing I ever think to do is call him, because over the decade plus we have been together, not ONCE has he EVER not been there in a crisis, or a time that I needed him.  He was at his work, across town. He dropped everything he was doing, and said he was on his way... though I knew it would take a while for him to get there, it was still a relief to know he was on his way.

I took my first breath.

The next call was to my wonderful Mother in Law.  Larger Child was just getting out of school, and someone needed to be there to pick him up.  SHE dropped everything and said she was on her way.

I took another breath.

I pressed my face against the window. SC was sitting in his carseat, key right next to him, smiling, laughing, and making raspberries.  He kept saying "Hiii!" in his southern drawl he picked up from God knows where, and waving his little hand at me.  If only that little hand was a few months older, he could unlock the car for me.  I felt so helpless! I felt so awful! I started to cry.

A woman from across the parking lot came my way and asked me if I needed any help.  I told her I had locked my keys in the car, and my baby was inside.  She ran to the car, looked in and laughed.  "He seems pretty happy, doesn't he! haha!!" I replied, "At least one of us does."  She said that her husband was a police officer.  She called to see if he was anywhere close.  He said he wasn't but he would find someone who was and send them our way.  She got off the phone and said there should be someone there to help shortly.  She then proceeded to wait with me for the next thirty minutes while I waited, fretted, cried, made silly faces through the window, and cried some more.

I didn't catch this woman's name.  But I can tell you, she was an angel.  She told me stories of being in similar situations, even once when she lost her daughter at Disney World.  She said this is just one of those things moms go through.  She kept telling me how happy he looked, and how it was going to be okay, and how this will be a great story to tell him when he gets older. We both remarked on how blessed it was that a cold front had come through the night before, and the car was cool and comfortable. We stood in silence for a long time too, just watching the parking lot and waiting.  I kept telling her that I was okay, and that she didn't need to stay... She would just smile and say, "I'm okay. I'll wait with you."  An angel.

After what seemed like weeks and days and hours, but in reality was only about 20-30 minutes, a local police officer came.  He jumped out of his car, popped his trunk and retrieved a wedge to pry my door apart, and a wire to unlock the door.  After a few attempts, he flung open the driver's side door.  I gasped in TOTAL relief, and charged the door to unlock the back seat.

Tears streaming down my face, I unbuckled SC, pulled him out of the seat, squeezed him tight, and covered him with kisses.  The woman and the police officer, and the couple other bystanders who had collected at the scene all smiled and laughed at SC charms, and remarked on how great it all was.  The officer even said, "well THAT makes it worth it."  I was just trying not to fall apart in front of everyone.  I thanked them both profusely, from the bottom of my heart.  I am not sure if I have ever meant a thank you so much in my life!

I put SC back in the carseat, kept my KEY IN MY HAND, and got in the car.  That's when I broke down.  The fear, helplessness, and desperation slipped away and were replaced with gratitude for the kindness of strangers, the Goodness of God, and the unshakable support of my family.  As I cried, that ugly loud cry of relief, Smaller Child sat in the back seat and giggled at me.

Tooth Fairy: Revisited

Jacob,

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MISSING TOOTH! Unfortunately, I had to reschedule my appointment to gather your newly lost tooth last night because I was at a tooth fairy convention learning new methods of tooth retrieving. I chose ONLY the children that I KNEW would understand to reschedule. Because you are SO understanding, I will give you the choice. Would you like me to come while you are at school? or would you rather I wait until tonight?

Have a FANTASTIC day and, again, thank you for being so understanding. You are on my "Favorite Children" list!   -TF

Dear Tooth Fairy,

That's okay, I thought you went ill. I'm glad you're not sick.
I would like you to come by when I'm at school, please. Don't be scared of Mom, sometimes she can be scary. She promises she will keep my door shut and stay out of my bedroom. Don't be scared of my bionicles or Lego ghost either.
I hope you had fun at the convention. I'm glad I'm one of your favorites!

Love,
Jacob

Jacob,

Thank you for warning me, I would have jumped out of my wings had I seen a ghost! I will come by and your mom won't even know I was there! Have a wonderful day!   -TF

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Thank you. You too!

Love, 

Jacob

(I think we need to whip that darn tooth fairy in to shape... three strikes your out, ya know what I mean??  Maybe we need to hold interviews for a new fairy to take her position.... SIGH....) 

Fall Break... TEXAS Style!

Fall Break snuck up on me this year... It seems like I was just dropping Larger Child off for his first day of school.  But, nevertheless, it came and went.  We love having a few days off from school, and we usually spend them visiting my adorable parents in Frisco, Texas.

Larger Child calls it a "vacation."  I would have to agree.  They know how to treat us right! I feel like quite a special guest at their house.  We usually do something super fun, get treated to awesome food, and share in some of the best company around.  This trip was no exception!

We left Wednesday morning, and the drive was more or less uneventful. We left that morning, and after two stops, (one for a potty break, and one for lunch) we made it to GeeGee and Grandpa's house mid afternoon.  Smaller Child has learned to be an excellent passenger, sleeping most of the trip, and Larger Child is pretty content as long as he has a well charged DS nearby.

After a good deal of welcome hugs and cuddles, and some unpacking, we went to dinner at Tupee's, a mexican restaurant.  I had a delicious Mexican style steak, Larger Child had chips with cheese, with a side of chips and cheese.  Smaller Child exerted his independence by insisting he feed himself, and partook in chips, pretzels, and tortillas.  (Apparently he was carbo-loading??)

Thursday, we all packed up and headed to Ray Robert's Lake for a little picnic-ing and day camping.  As we were pulling out of the driveway, it started to sprinkle... we considered nixing the whole idea, but decided to be adventurous knowing some of the very best family camping trips have been in the rain!

The day started with a little playing on the playground.  The weather was GORGEOUS.  It was overcast, but that kept the temps down.  The wind also helped.

SC played in the rocks with Grandpa

LC played on the swings with GeeGee

I got to float in between and soak up the love!

Then LC got the idea that SC needed to go down the slide with him... This is how THAT went...

SUCCESS!!

After a good time playing, we had a picnic.  It was delicious! Maybe too delicious, the buzzards started swarming.  I had never seen so many together like that. In fact, I kept arguing that they weren't buzzards, but crows or something, because SURELY there couldn't be that many! It was pretty surreal. Like something out of a Hitchcock movie.

LC couldn't stand it any longer, and HAD to get to the beach... so we followed.  It wasn't but a second or two out there that he asked if he could take his shoes off and splash around.  Had I known it was going to be nearly ninety during fall break, I would have just packed bathing suits! Both the boys loved being in the water! (I loved it too.)

But, to be honest, I preferred laying in the sand better.

do you blame me??

The boys rather enjoyed the sand as well! (And the sand was EVERYWHERE!)

One of my favorite pictures... EVER.

this one too!

After a change for SC, and a shower rinse for LC, we headed home.  Mom cooked a delicious dinner that night, and the boys chiseled the filth off of them, and thoroughly exhausted, went to bed.

Friday morning, Grandpa and LC went fishing.  They caught several, and LC learned that if you catch teeny ones, you can use them as bait for larger ones.  I could tell he was pretty fascinated by that, since I got to hear the story of the giant hook and how they put it right in the fish! Apparently, LC also got a scare with the hook himself... it grazed the back of his ear.  But overall, our little fisherman had a great time.

I'm not sure if this is the "catch" or the "bait." But he seems excited either way!

That afternoon, we went to lunch and to a city park for a bit. Then came home for some very serious chess.  It was a laid back and lovely day.

hard at work on a word find

hmm... who do you think is winning?? 

Friday evening, my brother and his family came over for a hotdog cookout.  It was so nice to see all of them, and spend some time together.  It was great having all of the cousins together too! It sure made the house full though!!  Smaller Child didn't quite recognize his aunt and uncle, and it took him a minute to warm up to them.  But, once he did, he and Uncle Eric were pals for sure!

Saturday, we went to lunch, then visited a Nickel Arcade (yes they still have those!).  It was surprisingly entertaining! Both the boys enjoyed it.  (I MAY have had some fun too.)

That night we got into a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders.  LC wiped the floor with us (damn chutes).  Followed by couple of rounds of UNO.  A PERFECT way to end the trip.

It was yet another LOVELY Texas trip.... over all too soon.  It is hard saying goodbye,  but I am so grateful for the relationship I have with my parents, and the amazing bonds they have with my children as well.  How lucky are we?!?!