Raising Superheroes

I was having a conversation with my Larger Child the other day about building reputations. He had just got sent to his room for being particularly hateful towards his little brother.  I was talking with him about how the decisions and patterns he sets up now with his little brother are going to shape their relationship and friendship as they grow older. I was explaining that his brother is going to be in his life for the rest of his life, and by his actions and decisions, he has the power to create a life long best friend or a life long enemy. 

LC told me that it can be frustrating because when he decides to be nice to Little Bro, SC doesn't want to have anything to do with him. I asked him if he would want to hug a cactus either.  He looked at me puzzled.  I realized then that I was going to have to go at this from a different angle. I asked him to give me the name of a villain. He said The Joker.  So, I said, "Okay, say if the Joker came to the door and asked you if you wanted to go get ice cream.  Would you go with him? Would you trust that he really wanted to just take you out and treat you nice? Or would you, based on every other experience you've had with the Joker, and everything you've learned about him to this point, expect that he would probably be tricking you and in reality doing something mean?"  He laughed and said that he would never go with the Joker, he would "punch his lights out!" I replied, "Exactly!"

Again the puzzled look.

I then tied it in to what we were talking about.  I told LC that he has been picking on his brother so long now, that Little Bro expects nothing nice.  He looks at you like the Joker.  (I should point out that this probably wasn't the BEST thing to say to my hyper sensitive child... but by the broken hearted look on his face, I think he got the point.) I then quickly added, NOW it's your job to change his mind and be his BATMAN.   It might take some time for him to build trust, but if you keep being the superhero and not the villain you will change how he sees you and in turn he will change how he acts with you.

I've got to say this was one of my better parenting conversations.  I am not sure how much it stuck with him, but I am still reminding him to be Batman not the Joker, and he gets it instantly. So, maybe more than I think.

But, one unexpected result of this conversation was getting my gears and cogs turning. I have been thinking a lot about villains, superheroes, and superpowers lately. I am 100% convinced that every parent of small children on the planet is raising a tiny equivalent to a Marvel character.  Each and every one of our children have special powers and gifts.  It is our jobs as parents to help them uncover these gifts.  But, more importantly than that, it is our job to help to point those powers and gifts towards good.  Help these little ones become the superheroes they were meant to be.

Elf Medicine

Five days ago, our beloved friend, Frank the Elf, came back for his annual visit.  Larger Child had been looking forward to it for weeks, and even speculated as to when he might make his appearance.  The morning he arrived, LC was ecstatic, waking us up before the sunrise to let us know that "Frank came! Frank came!!" 

For those of you who don't know, Elves on the Shelf are Santa's Helpers who come every year sometime between Thanksgiving and the first of December.  They show up (unannounced), and essentially are spies that watch the kids. The story goes that these Elves then fly back to the North Pole every night to give the Big Man in Red an update on behavior of the children so Santa can adjust his list accordingly.  So, why on EARTH LC would be so stoked to have this little buggar in the house is beyond me, but nevertheless,  he was over the moon to see his little red friend again.

For a few mornings all was well. Every morning LC would get up, hunt for Frank (who would be in a new location every time... part of the "fun" they say), and then wake one of us up to let us know he was there. Through the day, Frank stays in the spot, watching... juuuuust watching....

The rule is that you can talk to your Elf, but he is not allowed to talk back.  You are also absolutely, without a doubt, NEVER EVER allowed to TOUCH the Elf.  This will make him lose his magic, and he would be then be unable to fly back to the North Pole. Okay, we can do that.

The one thing Santa and his helpers did not count for, however, was the tiny hands of the unknowing two year old little brother who doesn't quiiiite understand the levity and gravity of his actions if he were to say, grab Frank and carry him around the house for a while.

Yeah.

Apparently, it went something like this (I was out to brunch at the time, and did not witness any of the events.) LC and Beautiful Bald Husband were concentrating on a Lego set (like they do).  Frank was innocently sitting on the bookshelf, playing with a Light Bright. Smaller Child saw an opportunity to play with the little man in the red hat, and well, he took it.

From what I understand, Larger Child was devastated. He was crying, sobbing, unable to catch his breath.  He understood that Little Bro did not do it on purpose, that he didn't know any better, and was not necessarily upset with Brother, but was so so so worried about Frank. BBH acted fast, and began looking up remedies, fixes for the Magic-less Elf situation. And much to our blissful appreciation, there IS A CURE!

In case you ever find yourself in a similar situation, here's what you do:
1. Get a pencil and paper, and write a note to Mr. Claus explaining and apologizing for the situation. LC's went something like this:

2. Add some Elf Medicine (which apparently is cinnamon! who knew!?) to the envelope and address it to Mr. Claus at the North Pole.
3. Collect your recently broken and magic free friend and attach him to the envelope.
4. Place lifeless Elf and letter in the mailbox. 

and voila!

Apparently, the Big Man comes by and collects his friend, repairs and restores his magic, and replaces him to his rightful home by morning! The next morning, Frank was right as rain sitting in LC's stocking with a note from Santa himself attached to the toe.

Thank goodness for Elf Medicine, Fast Santa Mail, Christmas Magic, and Quick Thinking Daddies.