(Not So Small)er Child

For nearly two years, the routine has been the same.  Bath, bottle, book, bed.  It is sweet connection.  A time to cuddle, to snuggle, to love.  It is followed by a gentle laying down in the crib, a tucking in, some tickles and kisses and expressions of love.  This has been the bedtime schedule for Smaller Child.  The type of bath, the type of milk, the type of book all may have changed some over the past two years, but the basics have been the same.  It was the same for Larger Child. 
Last night, it all changed.

Had I known that two nights ago might be my last time to put a BABY to bed, I may have done it differently.  I may have savored the moments longer, cuddled a bit more, chosen a longer book.  But, as it stands... I said goodbye to Baby EB without much ceremony.  Maybe it is better that way.  Now I won't have to worry that I somehow scarred him with weeping over a bottle! Regardless, when I went to bed last night realizing that I had put SC to bed without a bottle, and in a "big boy bed" and not a crib, I couldn't help but feel a lump in my throat.

We had decided earlier this week that we needed to convert the crib into a toddler bed soon. We had a vacation coming up, and thought it might be helpful to get him use to sleeping in a real bed so we didn't have to cram his behemoth body into a pack in play for a week.  (We have Viking children.) But, it kind of just happened on a whim yesterday.  Maybe sooner than I was really prepared for. He was thrilled to see he had a new toy to play on though! I was thrilled that he seemed to take to it so well. (That is until it was actually time for bed.)

When bedtime came around, I casually mentioned to BBH that we will also need to eventually consider cutting out the bedtime bottle.  He agreed, and we both sort of suggested that maybe tonight was the night.  First night in the big boy bed, might be a good distraction... he may not even realize we missed the bottle. We got him in his jammies, and took him to bed.  I laid him down, covered him up, and gave him a kiss goodnight.  Then I stopped.  I couldn't just LEAVE.  So, I grabbed a book, and sat down beside the bed to read to him.  He seemed okay with all of this, a little nervous, but okay.  Then it was lights out.... and tears.  I think he is not much different from most toddlers.  Big changes are scary, and need some nurturing, patience, and breaking in.  I laid on the floor next to him, stroking his head, letting him know it was okay.  He calmed down some.  Daddy came in, and took a shift too.  Within maybe twenty minutes, he was quiet and alone in the big boy bed, nodding off to dreamland.  There he spent the entire night, without a peep.  I heard him just before six this morning, and when I went to check on him, he was asleep on the floor.  Not positive of the details, but I picked him back up, put him back in bed, and he slept for another hour undisturbed.

When did my Little Bitty become not so little? (Though, I suppose technically he has never been too terribly little to begin with!) HOW on EARTH is time moving so fast?  This guy, who it seems just yesterday was a wriggling little foreign body in my uterus, is now nearly potty trained, feeding himself, sleeping in a big boy bed, walking, talking, self sufficient human! It is too fast. I feel like even though I am home with him every day, I'm somehow missing it. He's the last of the McQueen Vikings.  He is the last of the diapers, cribs, and bottles, and they are nearly gone as well.  Don't get me wrong, part of me is grateful and relieved to see the end of bottle washing and diaper changing, but part of me... part of me already misses the sweet baby smell, the chub wrinkle on his thigh, the gummy grin.  Our darling baby is now a little boy.  Full fledged toddler.