Raising Superheroes

I was having a conversation with my Larger Child the other day about building reputations. He had just got sent to his room for being particularly hateful towards his little brother.  I was talking with him about how the decisions and patterns he sets up now with his little brother are going to shape their relationship and friendship as they grow older. I was explaining that his brother is going to be in his life for the rest of his life, and by his actions and decisions, he has the power to create a life long best friend or a life long enemy. 

LC told me that it can be frustrating because when he decides to be nice to Little Bro, SC doesn't want to have anything to do with him. I asked him if he would want to hug a cactus either.  He looked at me puzzled.  I realized then that I was going to have to go at this from a different angle. I asked him to give me the name of a villain. He said The Joker.  So, I said, "Okay, say if the Joker came to the door and asked you if you wanted to go get ice cream.  Would you go with him? Would you trust that he really wanted to just take you out and treat you nice? Or would you, based on every other experience you've had with the Joker, and everything you've learned about him to this point, expect that he would probably be tricking you and in reality doing something mean?"  He laughed and said that he would never go with the Joker, he would "punch his lights out!" I replied, "Exactly!"

Again the puzzled look.

I then tied it in to what we were talking about.  I told LC that he has been picking on his brother so long now, that Little Bro expects nothing nice.  He looks at you like the Joker.  (I should point out that this probably wasn't the BEST thing to say to my hyper sensitive child... but by the broken hearted look on his face, I think he got the point.) I then quickly added, NOW it's your job to change his mind and be his BATMAN.   It might take some time for him to build trust, but if you keep being the superhero and not the villain you will change how he sees you and in turn he will change how he acts with you.

I've got to say this was one of my better parenting conversations.  I am not sure how much it stuck with him, but I am still reminding him to be Batman not the Joker, and he gets it instantly. So, maybe more than I think.

But, one unexpected result of this conversation was getting my gears and cogs turning. I have been thinking a lot about villains, superheroes, and superpowers lately. I am 100% convinced that every parent of small children on the planet is raising a tiny equivalent to a Marvel character.  Each and every one of our children have special powers and gifts.  It is our jobs as parents to help them uncover these gifts.  But, more importantly than that, it is our job to help to point those powers and gifts towards good.  Help these little ones become the superheroes they were meant to be.

Elf Medicine

Five days ago, our beloved friend, Frank the Elf, came back for his annual visit.  Larger Child had been looking forward to it for weeks, and even speculated as to when he might make his appearance.  The morning he arrived, LC was ecstatic, waking us up before the sunrise to let us know that "Frank came! Frank came!!" 

For those of you who don't know, Elves on the Shelf are Santa's Helpers who come every year sometime between Thanksgiving and the first of December.  They show up (unannounced), and essentially are spies that watch the kids. The story goes that these Elves then fly back to the North Pole every night to give the Big Man in Red an update on behavior of the children so Santa can adjust his list accordingly.  So, why on EARTH LC would be so stoked to have this little buggar in the house is beyond me, but nevertheless,  he was over the moon to see his little red friend again.

For a few mornings all was well. Every morning LC would get up, hunt for Frank (who would be in a new location every time... part of the "fun" they say), and then wake one of us up to let us know he was there. Through the day, Frank stays in the spot, watching... juuuuust watching....

The rule is that you can talk to your Elf, but he is not allowed to talk back.  You are also absolutely, without a doubt, NEVER EVER allowed to TOUCH the Elf.  This will make him lose his magic, and he would be then be unable to fly back to the North Pole. Okay, we can do that.

The one thing Santa and his helpers did not count for, however, was the tiny hands of the unknowing two year old little brother who doesn't quiiiite understand the levity and gravity of his actions if he were to say, grab Frank and carry him around the house for a while.

Yeah.

Apparently, it went something like this (I was out to brunch at the time, and did not witness any of the events.) LC and Beautiful Bald Husband were concentrating on a Lego set (like they do).  Frank was innocently sitting on the bookshelf, playing with a Light Bright. Smaller Child saw an opportunity to play with the little man in the red hat, and well, he took it.

From what I understand, Larger Child was devastated. He was crying, sobbing, unable to catch his breath.  He understood that Little Bro did not do it on purpose, that he didn't know any better, and was not necessarily upset with Brother, but was so so so worried about Frank. BBH acted fast, and began looking up remedies, fixes for the Magic-less Elf situation. And much to our blissful appreciation, there IS A CURE!

In case you ever find yourself in a similar situation, here's what you do:
1. Get a pencil and paper, and write a note to Mr. Claus explaining and apologizing for the situation. LC's went something like this:

2. Add some Elf Medicine (which apparently is cinnamon! who knew!?) to the envelope and address it to Mr. Claus at the North Pole.
3. Collect your recently broken and magic free friend and attach him to the envelope.
4. Place lifeless Elf and letter in the mailbox. 

and voila!

Apparently, the Big Man comes by and collects his friend, repairs and restores his magic, and replaces him to his rightful home by morning! The next morning, Frank was right as rain sitting in LC's stocking with a note from Santa himself attached to the toe.

Thank goodness for Elf Medicine, Fast Santa Mail, Christmas Magic, and Quick Thinking Daddies.

Home of Mistakes

I want our home to be a place for mistakes. I strive to have a home that is safe enough to allow those who live in it to experiment, try new things, not be afraid to fail. I want this to be a safe place. A place where we don't have to fear judgment, condemnation, or ridicule. A place where praise and encouragement are as common as mealtimes. Where gratitude and support are the currency, and bullying and mockery are outlawed. I want this to be the place where we can go to find out who we are and who we are not.  I want our boys to know that they can be who God made them to be, and Mom and Dad will support them on their journey there, no matter where "there" is. I want my husband to know he can let go of stereotypes and norms. That he can be as open and vulnerable as he wishes.  In a house full of men, I think it is vital to encourage exploration into emotions and feelings, and not equate that with weakness or lack of manhood.

I want this to be a place where we can all reach, jump and try to soar knowing that the people around us are not wishing for us to fall, but standing open armed ready not only to catch us if we do, but to lift us back up to try again... perhaps even willing to jump too.  This is my goal.

Happy Birthday LC!

This past Saturday, we celebrated Larger Child's EIGHTH birthday! EIGHT! I remember hearing people tell me the day I met him, holding his tiny hands in my hospital bed, to really cherish every moment because they fly by so fast. I thought it was corny and a little cliché', and I remember thinking at the time that if it was anything like the nine months that proceeded his arrival, they were all a bunch of liars. That time crawled by slower than molasses.  Now, eight years later, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, those parents were telling the God's honest truth. I cannot BELIEVE eight years have gone by since the moment I held that beautiful (all be it beat up and bruised) baby in my arms and began that wonderful/wacky/exhausting/exhilarating/indescribable adventure of motherhood. Eight years of laughs, tears, lessons, learning, and love.

As he is getting older, and growing in to the person he will be, leaving the world of babyhood and toddler hood where more often than not a child is mimicking what they see, trying on new identities to see what fits... and heading in to adolescence where the truths are formed, where the identity is solidified, it is becoming more and more clear that our LC will not fit in to any sort of mold or label of what an eight year old boy is "suppose to" be... and I am learning more and more that I would never want to try and make him.  The boy he is and the man he will be will far exceed any expectation or plan that I have for him, I know, IF I let him go and let him be and become who he is meant to. Not try and make him in to what I think he should.

I often say that Larger Child is special. I know that all parents say that about their children, and I am sure they are all right to some degree.  But LC... he IS special. I have never met a child like him before, and I often hear people who cross his path say the same. He is smart, funny, charming, handsome, quick, and witty.  He is also creative, empathetic, mature, individualistic.  But, with all those traits come some really fantastic ones to, like competitive, stubborn, and hypersensitive.  It is the MIX of these things that creates the magic in him though.  The combination of traits that make him this boy that captivates those around him.

It is that magic I am sure that caused nearly twice the turnout for his birthday party than we expected! But, boy did that kid have a good time! (and Mom and Dad survived with the help of some good friends and wonderful parents.)

LC and some of his crew

They moved in herds through the evening. Almost like a school of fish!

some more of the crew

all EIGHTEEN of the kids in attendance

 

Little Bro and Nana

this expression is pretty much how ALL us parents felt

our friends Barry, Kasey, and the super climber Owen.  The Woody's have hardly missed a single bday of LC's since year one.

cousin Collin showing some superior trampoline skills

Grandpa Carl and SC

SC getting his bounce on too!



Mama and a couple of her besties who kept her grounded through the night.

 

And this was the party, as a family we celebrated the boy with a surprise room bomb, and his gift an aquarium with the new addition to the family, Gary, LC's new fish friend.

Gotta say, decorating his room was super super fun! I love making a fuss for the kids birthdays. There is just something about going all out to show those boys how special I think they are.  BUT, my favorite moment of the whole day came at bedtime.  When I was tucking him in that night, we were saying our prayers together, and it was my turn to lead the prayer.  I was talking with God and thanking Him for putting LC in my life.  I was thanking Him for the eight incredible years I have been blessed with so far, and expressing my gratitude for His gift of motherhood to me. I was also asking that He help LC to know and understand just how loved and cherished his is by his parents, and to know to his core just how precious he is.  After the amens, hugs, and kisses.  He wouldn't let go of my hand. I looked down at him and he was crying. I said, "Oh, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry."  He turned to me, sniffled, and said, "Mom, these aren't sad tears. I love you." I hugged him tight, kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him too. 

In that moment, right then and there, I knew just how special he truly is, and just how blessed I am to be his mom. Happy Birthday LC! You are one of a kind! and I love you more than bacon!

OH, October!

Where did the month go? We are well in to November now. The jack-o-lanterns are destroyed, the witches, bats, ghosts, and goblins are put away, the turkeys are out, and cookbooks are getting dusted off.  But where did October go??  It is probably my favorite month of the year, and it fleeeeew by so fast this year. 

In a vain attempt to wrap my head around the fact that I did indeed live through the month, and experienced all 31 days of it, here's a recap of the goings on:

The first October event was race spectating.  My friend Gena, the little ones, and I had the privilege to watch BBH and his friend Corey complete a half marathon.  Despite it being cold and windy, we had a ball and the guys did great.

Next on the calendar was Fall Break. It came early this year, which was fine by me.  The boys and I took our annual fall trip to see my folks in Texas.  We ended up spending one of the days going to a park in Glen Rose that is the home of some real life fossilized dinosaur prints in the bedrock of a river.  It was INCREDIBLE to witness true life history. It was like nothing I have ever seen before.  Pretty amazing to be stepping in the print of a creature that lived millions of years ago.

We also did some shopping while we were there, visiting the Frisco mall, and taking a ride on the carousel. It was a nice visit, and good to spend a little time with Mom and Dad before the chaos of the holidays set in.

The next week was kind of quiet.  We have been working hard on getting Smaller Child potty trained, which meant we really needed to stick close to home. I used that time to clean out the house (going through cabinets, drawers, closets and things) and even cleaned out the attic.  I found a dolly from when I was about EB's age, Bonnie. I loved her, and hoped SC might do the same. We also had time to do some fun art projects while we were home.

The next week, Larger Child got to go on a trip to California with his Nana and cousin.  They went to visit his aunt (BBH's sister) and her family.  They got to go to Disneyland, see a tidepool, go to their cousin's bday party, and visit family they rarely get to see. (I hear he even got to make lemonade from his great uncles lemon tree.) They had a ball!!

While we had the rare opportunity, BBH and I decided to take advantage of the single child household, and take SC to the Zoo.  It was a gorgeous day, and we had a really lovely time.

The week LC came back, began the flurry of Halloween activities.  School parties, Trick or Treating, costume making, and local fun! The week began with a trip to Storybook Forest where the kids walk a trail by the lake and trick or treat scenes from storybooks.  It has always been a family tradition, and a lot of fun.  Add in carnival games, and a hayride, and it is always a good time.

A couple days later, we got to don the squid and cow costume again to go trick or treating.  The boys did great and had a lot of fun this year.  Many more houses in our neighborhood participated, which was great.  Smaller Child didn't walk in to a single home, and they both made out like bandits!

Throw in some fall baking, birthday prep for someone's upcoming 8th bday, an anniversary celebration, and the usual daily routines, and you've got a good picture of October in the McQueen house. I LOVE IT! I am so blessed.

Now, on to November. Gratitude, turkeys, eating waaay too many fun sized snicker bars, and early Christmas shopping.  Good times ahead, ya'all!

One Dozen Years

Today marks ONE DOZEN YEARS of my life shared with the most amazing man I have ever met. It has been twelve years to the day from when we took our vows to live our lives as husband and wife.  And believe it or not, it just keeps getting better!

I was thinking this morning about our wedding day, how different we were back then in our interests, our personalities, our goals, or aspirations.  It is almost like we are completely new people.  At least this is what I was thinking... I was looking back at old albums of our wedding day.  Photos of friends we don't see anymore.  Doing things we don't do.   Being people we aren't.  Like looking at strangers.  That is until I came across a page in the album where I placed the vows we wrote for each other.

BBH's vows to me:
Jenny, You are my every inspiration in everything that I do. You gave me direction in a time in my life where I was floundering, and helped to shape me into what I am today. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for sending me such a wonderful gift.
With everything that I am, I promise to always be devoted, loyal, and faithful to you. I promise to always be your shoulder to cry on and your strength when you are weak. No matter where life may take us I promise to never let you down, but above all I promise to always love and cherish you and our marriage until the day that I die.

My vows to BBH:
Never in my life have I met anyone with so much selflessness, so much honor, and so much strength until I met you. Never has there been anyone to truly show me what it is like to be cherished and loved so deeply and unconditionally until I met you. Never have I felt so safe and secure than the times I spend in your arms.  You have taught me the power and redemption in love. You have shown me that no river is too wide, no mountain too high or ocean too deep for us to conquer as long as we are together. I vow to you now that you hold my heart, my mind, my soul, and this will never change.  Today, we are embarking on such an incredible chapter of our lives, and I feel so honored and so truly blessed that we will share our lives together.  I know that there is no where on earth or in the heavens above that I would rather be than in the reflection of your beautiful eyes, because it is in those eyes that my heart and soul will forever be.

Are they a little cheesy and over the top? Yes, of course... but we were children. The thing that struck me about them was just how true they still are today.  Those people, the souls and hearts inside of the children who stood at the alter that day and promised to live our lives together, THEY are the same.

In our core, our inner being, we are connected. Our interests, aspirations, and friends may change... but the one thing that doesn't, the one constant is our love and devotion to one another. It not only seems to resist change, but grow stronger and more secure as the years pass. (Twelve, to be exact.)

So, today, on our anniversary, I want to say once again to BBH, as I did twelve years ago, that you hold my heart, my mind, my soul, and this will never change.

Happy Anniversary my Lovely Lobster! How blessed we are. How grateful I am. I love you so.

-Wife

Crock Pot Chronicles: Chicken and Wild Rice

Tried this delicious fall recipe this week.  It was amazing, and super easy.  Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.


Slow Cooker Chicken and Wild Rice
(serves- 4-6)

2lbs chicken breast cut into large bites
1 can Cream of Chicken WITH HERBS
1 box Uncle Bens Wild Rice (chicken flavor)
1 can sliced carrots
2tbl bacon crumbles
1 cup Chicken Broth
salt, pepper, to taste
1tbl minced garlic
olive oil


1. Sauté garlic in olive oil over medium to high heat.  Add Chicken, salt and pepper, and cook through.

 



2.  Sprinkle bacon crumbles in the bottom of slow cooker.  Layer Rice on top.  (Reserve seasoning packet)

 

 

3. Layer chicken on top of rice.

 

 

4. Sprinkle carrots (drained) over chicken (I think you could sub yams or sweet potatoes here... or even squash/zucchini).

 

5. Mix the soup and chicken broth.  Then pour over the top.

 

6. Sprinkle herb packet reserved from box of rice.  Cover and cook on low for 4-6 hours, or until rice is tender.

7. Stir all ingredients before serving.

I'm telling you... delish! It is rare that I can find a recipe all four of us will eat with no argument or bribery. I sure hope your family enjoys it as much as ours did!