The truth comes out.
My life isn't perfect. My home isn't cookie cutter. My kids aren't angels. I don't spring out of bed every morning with a huge smile on my face, and throw on my apron and become super mom.
"Gaaaasp! No, Jenny! It isn't true! It's not possible! Every day is sunshine and roses in the McQueen house, and you saying anything otherwise is a complete lie!"
Sorry, folks it's true.
This summer has been incredibly difficult for me trying to navigate the world of multiple children with multiple moods, needs, tempers, and opinions, home... all day... every day. It has been taxing, wearing, exhausting, infuriating, irritating, and I have spent a chunk of nearly each and every day repeating to myself, "Don't kill the children. Don't kill the children."
I think that is the great lie that we women, especially those of us (lucky?) enough to call themselves Stay at Home Moms tell each other. Just how super sparkly-rainbow-warm and fuzzy-happy go lucky- full of giggles and sprinkles-awesome it is to be around them each and every day, all day long, being the referee through fights, the personal chef, the jungle gym, the cruise director, the party clown, manager, boss, and drill sergeant. Sometimes it just flat out sucks. Sometimes I have to just go in my room and shut the door to breath deeply in the quiet for the fleeting moment before one of them finds me and starts knocking.
The hardest part for me is the fighting. They are in such an awkward age spread and time right now. Smaller Child is old enough to express his frustrations (mostly by screaming bloody murder) but not old enough to vocalize WHY he's frustrated or what it is about what Bubba's doing that is bothering him so much. And Larger Child is old enough to play (mostly) responsibly with Brother, but not quite old enough to give up the selfishness that is required of playing with a toddler. Add to that his hereditary desire to run the show, and SC's hereditary desire to NEVER want to do what he's told, and you've got 10+ hours a day of a cycle of "play-laugh-scream-cry-play-laugh-scream-cry" repeat.
(And Mommy's eyes begin to twitch, hands begin to ball up, and head begins to pound about hour 4, leaving me 6+ hours of desperation and edge clinging that is getting me nothing but very strong finger muscles.)
After dinner, there is a mad sprint to the kids bedtime. Then there are a precious 2-3 hours of quiet, peace, and recharge before I completely collapse to sleep, and wake in the morning to start it all over again.
This summer has been tough. I have been desperate. I have been praying EVERY morning for God to help me. To guide me. To help me be the mother these kids deserve for me to be. To remove from me my impatience, irritability, and intolerance, for Him to help me be more attentive, loving, compassionate... Yet, every morning, I walk away from my prayers, and within a few hours I am no better than I was the day before.
Something happened this morning though, something changed in my prayers. Instead of asking God to change me, or change the situation, I prayed to ask God to help me to remain in gratitude, to remember that I really am lucky to be so situated to be home with them. That when I really boil it down, I honestly (even with all the chaos) wouldn't want to miss this for the world. Instead of counting down the days until school started (27), I wanted to be grateful and savor the moments I have. I will never get another summer with a 7 and 2 year old again. This is it. The only shot I get at them, as they are right now. So, that was my prayer this morning. Prayer for Gratitude. Prayer of Gratitude. Then I went on about my day.
Within a few hours, I again was no better than I was before... then...
I made a passing complaint to LC about how I needed to go pay bills and balance the checkbook. He turned to me, and said very casually, "Mom, don't you think that you should be grateful instead?" (I nearly accused him of reading my morning prayer journal, before I remembered he can't read my cursive.) I smiled, turned back to him and said, "You know what, you are absolutely right. Thank you for the reminder" knowing FULL WELL that I was saying that thank you to the One I had prayed for that reminder to this morning. I left that conversation with tears in my eyes, chill bumps on my arms, and warmth in my heart. I think it is safe to let go of the edge now. I think it's safe to relax my fingers. Maybe spend more time folding them together in prayers of thanks... I have a lot to be grateful for.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
A Little Crafty
Some things I have made over the past few months... The studio has been well occupied!
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| Owl |
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| beagle |
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| turtle couple I made for some good friend's first wedding anniversary |
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| Father's Day painting for Grandpa |
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| Father's Day painting for BBH |
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| Father's Day Card |
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| Doodle |
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| Larger Child's Super Awesome Moon |
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| this one's my favorite! |
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| this was the card I stuck in BBH's suitcase when he went off for his CO marathon |
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| baby rattles for my cousin's new twins |
Turning Two
A week and three days ago, my sweet baby, my Kitty Cat, my itty bitty (Smaller Child) turned TWO YEARS OLD!
We had a small party at the beach while we were there. I bought a few decorations, found party hats we all got to decorate, Mom picked up a cake, and we all gathered to celebrate the second anniversary of his birth. He seemed delighted to be the center of attention, and everyone else sure were good sports in the process.
HOW IN THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN?? I remember when Larger Child turned two, there was a moment of "holy bajesus, that went fast!" but, this time, it seems like we skipped over a whole year or something! I mean seriously, I feel like I just got done cleaning up mustache whiskers from the "Little Man" birthday party.
So, another year older... what have we learned? What has changed? How has he grown?
1. He's increasing his vocabulary exponentially every day.
2. He is just as hilarious as the rest of the clan.
3. He's tough! Loves to rough house, and can already beat up his brother.
4. Somehow our gigantor is turning in to a picky eater, though when he finds something he likes, you better stock up.
5. He rolls with the punches better than any kiddo I've seen. Never gets too bent out of shape with changes, big or small.
6. He is obsessively in love with all things that go vroom!
7. He has one of the best laughs I have ever heard.
8. He's fearless. (and a little klutzy)
9. He's already over three feet tall, and weighs over 35lbs, wearing 3t's.
10. He is learning his colors and shapes. Is showing great interest in letters and numbers... though he doesn't have the patience to sit with me the way his brother did. I am having to find much more sneaky ways to "teach" my kinesthetic learner.
11. He's learning empathy, sympathy, remorse, forgiveness, and generosity. When you are very very young, these traits are hard to understand. We seem to be born animals, wanting everything... it is only through exposure, experience, and understanding that we develop these very humanistic emotions. It is an awe-some experience to watch a soul develop. Something I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for, something I will be forever changed by.
My Little Man, he's just flat out fantastic. I cannot believe I lived as long as I did without him in my life. Our family has been lifted up, redefined, and fulfilled by his existence. Happy Birthday Kitty Cat!
We had a small party at the beach while we were there. I bought a few decorations, found party hats we all got to decorate, Mom picked up a cake, and we all gathered to celebrate the second anniversary of his birth. He seemed delighted to be the center of attention, and everyone else sure were good sports in the process.
HOW IN THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN?? I remember when Larger Child turned two, there was a moment of "holy bajesus, that went fast!" but, this time, it seems like we skipped over a whole year or something! I mean seriously, I feel like I just got done cleaning up mustache whiskers from the "Little Man" birthday party.
So, another year older... what have we learned? What has changed? How has he grown?
1. He's increasing his vocabulary exponentially every day.
2. He is just as hilarious as the rest of the clan.
3. He's tough! Loves to rough house, and can already beat up his brother.
4. Somehow our gigantor is turning in to a picky eater, though when he finds something he likes, you better stock up.
5. He rolls with the punches better than any kiddo I've seen. Never gets too bent out of shape with changes, big or small.
6. He is obsessively in love with all things that go vroom!
7. He has one of the best laughs I have ever heard.
8. He's fearless. (and a little klutzy)
9. He's already over three feet tall, and weighs over 35lbs, wearing 3t's.
10. He is learning his colors and shapes. Is showing great interest in letters and numbers... though he doesn't have the patience to sit with me the way his brother did. I am having to find much more sneaky ways to "teach" my kinesthetic learner.
11. He's learning empathy, sympathy, remorse, forgiveness, and generosity. When you are very very young, these traits are hard to understand. We seem to be born animals, wanting everything... it is only through exposure, experience, and understanding that we develop these very humanistic emotions. It is an awe-some experience to watch a soul develop. Something I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for, something I will be forever changed by.
My Little Man, he's just flat out fantastic. I cannot believe I lived as long as I did without him in my life. Our family has been lifted up, redefined, and fulfilled by his existence. Happy Birthday Kitty Cat!
Monday, July 15, 2013
Galveston
On Wednesday, I spent the whole day packing and cleaning. On Thursday, the four of us drove the three and a half hours to my parents' house in Frisco. It was Independence day, so when we got out there, we had our obligatory bbq, and managed to catch some local fireworks.
The next morning, we loaded up, and caravanned three cars the five hours from Frisco to Galveston, TX where we would be staying for a week in a beach house. The drive was (mostly) uneventful. BBH and Larger Child were in his car, Mom and Dad (and their dog Chloe) were in their car, and Smaller Child and I were in my car. We all managed to get where we needed to go, and somehow stayed together through most of it... until Houston. That is where we lost BBH. Damn Houston. For such a pretty city, your traffic is sure a pain in the tuckass.
Most of the drive in my car consisted of Smaller Child sleeping through me belting out whatever top 40 station I managed to get on my radio. Although, there was stretch of road that only had religious talk radio or old time country. While I don't mind me some Patsy Cline, I was grateful for Pandora. However, around hour four, we were both incredibly restless and READY to be out of the car...
But, it didn't take long before we crossed the bridge, and landed on the small skinny island of Galveston. It seems like the mood and temperature changes the moment you hit land... so do the sights. I was particularly fond of this guy. If I were a lady shrimp...
The house we rented was fantastic! Enough room for us all to have our own space without feeling like we were on top of one another, and one fantastic view.
Once we unloaded, we almost immediately headed out to the deck to check out the sights.
Inspired by my surroundings, I took advantage of the leisure time to make a jellyfish. This small project soon turned in to a week long task, the one jellyfish turning in to six to give to all the kids (and my mom).
Wait! How did the kids multiply? I'll get to that...
The first full day on the beach was spent mostly at the seashore. We swam, splashed, played, body surfed, and introduced Smaller Child to the magnitude of the ocean. He was a bit intimidated at first. Afraid of the seaweed, he really didn't want to be in the water without one of us holding him. He sure didn't mind stomping around the sand though. Larger Child, comfortable in his (required) life jacket, enjoyed the surf and waves. He splashed and giggled like he was a born beach bum.
BBH and I turned in to giggling teenagers. Once we knew the little ones were being watched after by GeeGee and Grandpa, we tore off for the deeper surf. The ocean was very choppy, and there were quite a bit of waves. We stayed close to one another, laughing, swimming, jumping, and PLAYING together. I hadn't smiled that much, and laughed that long in ages. It was wonderful and beautiful to play with my husband in that way. Let loose, giggle and be free. My cheeks and sides hurt by the time we hit the beach again.
Thoroughly wrecked by the day in the waves, we all went back to the house, had dinner, and got ready for bed. An hour or so after our little family was asleep, my brother, his wife, and their three kids arrived to share in the vacation with us!
Sunday morning, we had a late start. We enjoyed a big breakfast all together, and spent some time just playing, visiting, and relaxing in the house. Larger Child and his cousin, Lyra are about the same age, so the moment they get together they are practically inseparable... and I didn't see one without the other for most of the rest of the trip. Jack, my brother's youngest just turned four, and he split his time between playing with big sis and Smaller Child... though it was clear he had a bit of the middle child syndrome. A "Goldylocks" affect, where one group of kids was a bit too old, and the other a bit too young. But, he made do. Greg, the oldest of the kids hung out mostly with the adults. He was great company, and helped out a ton through the week. It was really nice spending some time with them, getting to know them better, and letting them get to know me. Though, I will admit, there were times having FIVE children in the house was overwhelming. (to say the least) But, for the most part, all of them got along well, and there were only a few blowouts that we had to referee. I was impressed.
Sunday afternoon, BBH and I took our kids out to explore the town. We went to a few little souvenir shops, but the big plan was to take the kids to Rainforest Café for lunch. If you've never been to a Rainforest Café, and you have small children, you really should try it. They are pretty neat experiences. There are animatronic safari animals in the dining room, the whole place is decked out ceiling to floor to look like a rainforest, and every twenty minutes or so, the lights dim, thunder rolls in, and the rainforest comes alive. This particular café also had a safari boat ride inside, which was a big hit for the kids.
By the time we got back that evening, it was close to dinner. We helped cook and clean up, then it was time to celebrate a certain someone's SECOND BIRTHDAY! (You can read all about this in a later post... for now I am going to say it was quaint and perfect.)
That night, BBH and I snuck away for a sunset beach walk. It was by far my most favorite part of the whole trip. The sunset was breathtaking, the time spent holding hands, beach combing, reflecting, really talking with BBH was priceless. It was one of those rare moments where you can really FEEL the presence of God, of love, and of life surrounding you. Magical.
Monday we spent the day at Paradise Pier riding rides, playing carnival games, and having just the best darn time you can. It is a pier in Galveston that was totally wiped out by Hurricane Ike. It has since been rebuilt into an amusement park offering several gut wrenching and thrilling rides. The day started off in the rain. But, we decided not to let that stop us... we powered through, and within an hour or so, the rain cleared off, creating one gorgeous and memorable day!
I have to say, Larger Child really surprised me. He was FEARLESS. He rode every single ride there. Some of them even I chose to sit out of. It was awesome to watch him!
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Monday night, we took the kids out "crabbing." This is going out to the beach, after dark, with your flashlight to spot all the crabs coming out of their holes. Somehow a game was made, scoring points for touching the crab butts... bigger the crab, bigger the point value. Good times.
Tuesday morning, BBH had to head back home, and get back to work. I was sad. I wasn't sure how I would feel about being there without him... flammy vacation turned in to family vacation... part of my heart went home.
I spent the morning crocheting (and sulking a little) until the kids started swarming, wanting to get in to my yarn. I took that opportunity to teach them some basic finger weaving. It was super fun to watch them learn. They all made bracelets, necklaces, and even used the scraps in some pretty imaginative ways!
That day the decision was for the guys to head to Houston to check out a battleship, and the ladies (with the addition of Smaller Child) to stay in town and do some shopping. It was a fun and relaxing day, disregarding the momentary wrong way drive down a one way road. They boys seemed to have fun as well, and I got to hear all about it when they got home.
Wednesday we went to Moody Gardens. We checked out their awesome aquarium, elaborate and impressive rainforest greenhouse, met some dinosaurs, and played in their interactive science of music exhibit. The kids all really seemed to enjoy themselves. (I did too!)
We knew that Thursday would be our last full day, so we reserved the day to spend at the beach. We loaded up the sunscreen, lawn chairs, and sand toys and spent the day at the water. Larger Child and Lyra learned about how the ocean was just teeming with life. They found crabs, small fish, shrimp, and teeny jellies that they captured and put in their own little tidepool. Smaller Child became much more comfortable with the water and spent his time splashing, falling, laying, and kicking around. Mom and Dad seemed to enjoy spectating, though they both spent their fair share in the surf, even taking a turn on the boogie boards. The rest of us all took shifts watching the littles, and going out in the deep surf playing in the waves. It was a day of sun and fun. We all came home wooped, covered in sand, and nursing sunburns.... with HUGE smiles on our faces.
That evening we packed, loaded, and began to get ready for an early departure the next day.
Friday, we gathered up what was left, and high-tailed it out. We stopped off for breakfast on the way home. The drive was uneventful, though Houston got the best of us again, and we lost another in the caravan. By the time we got back to Mom and Dad's I was so tired, I barely made it to 8:00 before going to bed myself. It was truly a memorable week. A long vacation, full of loads of laughs, exhaustion, (and some frustration at times... but what do you expect with that many personalities in one place for that long?). Some of the best memories were in the small moments. The little lapses of time between the big things. Like taking silly pictures with the littles.
Or watching LC wiggle his toes in the sand. Running in to the waves, playing "Ready... ready.... GO!" with Smaller Child. Teaching my niece how to crochet. Watching my BBH cook breakfast for a horde. Watching him dive into waves taller than his head, laughing and grasping at my hands. Walking down the boardwalk with Mom. Seeing her splash in the surf like a kid, and doting on her grandchildren like that was her one purpose on Earth, or hearing her squeal the first time she was brave enough to touch a crab.
Or catching Smaller Child and Grandpa watching ships together
The next morning, we loaded up, and caravanned three cars the five hours from Frisco to Galveston, TX where we would be staying for a week in a beach house. The drive was (mostly) uneventful. BBH and Larger Child were in his car, Mom and Dad (and their dog Chloe) were in their car, and Smaller Child and I were in my car. We all managed to get where we needed to go, and somehow stayed together through most of it... until Houston. That is where we lost BBH. Damn Houston. For such a pretty city, your traffic is sure a pain in the tuckass.
Most of the drive in my car consisted of Smaller Child sleeping through me belting out whatever top 40 station I managed to get on my radio. Although, there was stretch of road that only had religious talk radio or old time country. While I don't mind me some Patsy Cline, I was grateful for Pandora. However, around hour four, we were both incredibly restless and READY to be out of the car...
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| this is what I starred at most of the drive... the back end of my parents' car. |
But, it didn't take long before we crossed the bridge, and landed on the small skinny island of Galveston. It seems like the mood and temperature changes the moment you hit land... so do the sights. I was particularly fond of this guy. If I were a lady shrimp...
The house we rented was fantastic! Enough room for us all to have our own space without feeling like we were on top of one another, and one fantastic view.
Once we unloaded, we almost immediately headed out to the deck to check out the sights.
Inspired by my surroundings, I took advantage of the leisure time to make a jellyfish. This small project soon turned in to a week long task, the one jellyfish turning in to six to give to all the kids (and my mom).
Wait! How did the kids multiply? I'll get to that...
The first full day on the beach was spent mostly at the seashore. We swam, splashed, played, body surfed, and introduced Smaller Child to the magnitude of the ocean. He was a bit intimidated at first. Afraid of the seaweed, he really didn't want to be in the water without one of us holding him. He sure didn't mind stomping around the sand though. Larger Child, comfortable in his (required) life jacket, enjoyed the surf and waves. He splashed and giggled like he was a born beach bum.
BBH and I turned in to giggling teenagers. Once we knew the little ones were being watched after by GeeGee and Grandpa, we tore off for the deeper surf. The ocean was very choppy, and there were quite a bit of waves. We stayed close to one another, laughing, swimming, jumping, and PLAYING together. I hadn't smiled that much, and laughed that long in ages. It was wonderful and beautiful to play with my husband in that way. Let loose, giggle and be free. My cheeks and sides hurt by the time we hit the beach again.
Thoroughly wrecked by the day in the waves, we all went back to the house, had dinner, and got ready for bed. An hour or so after our little family was asleep, my brother, his wife, and their three kids arrived to share in the vacation with us!
Sunday morning, we had a late start. We enjoyed a big breakfast all together, and spent some time just playing, visiting, and relaxing in the house. Larger Child and his cousin, Lyra are about the same age, so the moment they get together they are practically inseparable... and I didn't see one without the other for most of the rest of the trip. Jack, my brother's youngest just turned four, and he split his time between playing with big sis and Smaller Child... though it was clear he had a bit of the middle child syndrome. A "Goldylocks" affect, where one group of kids was a bit too old, and the other a bit too young. But, he made do. Greg, the oldest of the kids hung out mostly with the adults. He was great company, and helped out a ton through the week. It was really nice spending some time with them, getting to know them better, and letting them get to know me. Though, I will admit, there were times having FIVE children in the house was overwhelming. (to say the least) But, for the most part, all of them got along well, and there were only a few blowouts that we had to referee. I was impressed.
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| Jack and Smaller Child playing "Vroom Vrooms" |
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| This is what eleven people in a beach house looks like. |
Sunday afternoon, BBH and I took our kids out to explore the town. We went to a few little souvenir shops, but the big plan was to take the kids to Rainforest Café for lunch. If you've never been to a Rainforest Café, and you have small children, you really should try it. They are pretty neat experiences. There are animatronic safari animals in the dining room, the whole place is decked out ceiling to floor to look like a rainforest, and every twenty minutes or so, the lights dim, thunder rolls in, and the rainforest comes alive. This particular café also had a safari boat ride inside, which was a big hit for the kids.
By the time we got back that evening, it was close to dinner. We helped cook and clean up, then it was time to celebrate a certain someone's SECOND BIRTHDAY! (You can read all about this in a later post... for now I am going to say it was quaint and perfect.)
That night, BBH and I snuck away for a sunset beach walk. It was by far my most favorite part of the whole trip. The sunset was breathtaking, the time spent holding hands, beach combing, reflecting, really talking with BBH was priceless. It was one of those rare moments where you can really FEEL the presence of God, of love, and of life surrounding you. Magical.
Monday we spent the day at Paradise Pier riding rides, playing carnival games, and having just the best darn time you can. It is a pier in Galveston that was totally wiped out by Hurricane Ike. It has since been rebuilt into an amusement park offering several gut wrenching and thrilling rides. The day started off in the rain. But, we decided not to let that stop us... we powered through, and within an hour or so, the rain cleared off, creating one gorgeous and memorable day!
I have to say, Larger Child really surprised me. He was FEARLESS. He rode every single ride there. Some of them even I chose to sit out of. It was awesome to watch him!
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| This was one of those rides I sat out on... a loop that loops and loops and loops... no thanks. But, the kids loved it! |
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| This was called the texas high flier. It was a normal carnival swing, but REALLY REALLY high... It was awesome! LC rode this one three times. |
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| the roller coaster behind us here was called the Steel Shark. IT was my favorite. Check out that straight drop there. Awesome. |
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| Little Lyra rocking the "Pirate Striker!" |
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| waiting for the ferris wheel |
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| view from the ferris wheel |
Tuesday morning, BBH had to head back home, and get back to work. I was sad. I wasn't sure how I would feel about being there without him... flammy vacation turned in to family vacation... part of my heart went home.
I spent the morning crocheting (and sulking a little) until the kids started swarming, wanting to get in to my yarn. I took that opportunity to teach them some basic finger weaving. It was super fun to watch them learn. They all made bracelets, necklaces, and even used the scraps in some pretty imaginative ways!
That day the decision was for the guys to head to Houston to check out a battleship, and the ladies (with the addition of Smaller Child) to stay in town and do some shopping. It was a fun and relaxing day, disregarding the momentary wrong way drive down a one way road. They boys seemed to have fun as well, and I got to hear all about it when they got home.
Wednesday we went to Moody Gardens. We checked out their awesome aquarium, elaborate and impressive rainforest greenhouse, met some dinosaurs, and played in their interactive science of music exhibit. The kids all really seemed to enjoy themselves. (I did too!)
We knew that Thursday would be our last full day, so we reserved the day to spend at the beach. We loaded up the sunscreen, lawn chairs, and sand toys and spent the day at the water. Larger Child and Lyra learned about how the ocean was just teeming with life. They found crabs, small fish, shrimp, and teeny jellies that they captured and put in their own little tidepool. Smaller Child became much more comfortable with the water and spent his time splashing, falling, laying, and kicking around. Mom and Dad seemed to enjoy spectating, though they both spent their fair share in the surf, even taking a turn on the boogie boards. The rest of us all took shifts watching the littles, and going out in the deep surf playing in the waves. It was a day of sun and fun. We all came home wooped, covered in sand, and nursing sunburns.... with HUGE smiles on our faces.
That evening we packed, loaded, and began to get ready for an early departure the next day.
Friday, we gathered up what was left, and high-tailed it out. We stopped off for breakfast on the way home. The drive was uneventful, though Houston got the best of us again, and we lost another in the caravan. By the time we got back to Mom and Dad's I was so tired, I barely made it to 8:00 before going to bed myself. It was truly a memorable week. A long vacation, full of loads of laughs, exhaustion, (and some frustration at times... but what do you expect with that many personalities in one place for that long?). Some of the best memories were in the small moments. The little lapses of time between the big things. Like taking silly pictures with the littles.
Or watching LC wiggle his toes in the sand. Running in to the waves, playing "Ready... ready.... GO!" with Smaller Child. Teaching my niece how to crochet. Watching my BBH cook breakfast for a horde. Watching him dive into waves taller than his head, laughing and grasping at my hands. Walking down the boardwalk with Mom. Seeing her splash in the surf like a kid, and doting on her grandchildren like that was her one purpose on Earth, or hearing her squeal the first time she was brave enough to touch a crab.
Or catching Smaller Child and Grandpa watching ships together
Or hearing Smaller Child say, from the backseat of the car as we drove out of town, "Bye Bye Beesh! Bye Bye Oseeen! Bye Bye Craaab!
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